Eye Of The Beholder
by Peyt4Luke4eva
Summary: That day had thrown their lives into chaos, nothing would ever be the same again. Everything changed in the blink of an eye. She had barely known him and now he was the one that was responsible for saving her life. AU LP school shooting set in season one.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note - So this idea came to me out of nowhere and my muse has been running overtime on it. It takes place during the school shooting and then the aftermath, only difference is it takes place during early season one. The time capsule was made in Junior yerar. All basic early season one plotlines and friendships are the same but I am going to be shaking things up. This opening chapter is fairly short and focuses mostly on Jimmy Edwards. All principal characters will be introduced in subsequent chapters. I'm not going to give too much away at this stage but any questions you might have just ask.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Sheena (smc-27) because she's a truly wonderful writer and always happy to hash out ideas with other writers. Thanks so much for your feedback on this one.

Summary - That day had thrown their lives into chaos, nothing would ever be the same again. Everything had changed in the blink of an eye. She had barely known him and now he was the one that was responsible for saving her life. AU LP, the school shooting set in season one.

Eye of the Beholder

Prologue

It was supposed to be just like any other normal day. A day that was just like any other; in the seemingly never ending blend of sunrises to sunsets. The day was supposed to be normal, usual and uneventful. It wasn't supposed to be a day that would leave its mark on everyone in this small town.

Jimmy Edwards had woken up groggily to the annoying buzzing sound of his alarm and his mother's call and her persistent knocking fist at his bedroom door. Finally he shrugged off the comforter and tried to ignore the heavy stinging sensation prickling at his eye lids. His eyes fell to the metal object he'd retrieved from his father's abandoned den and that was now resting on his nightstand. Panic and uncertainty sparked in his core and he tried to brush it off as he pulled his tired frame up from the bed.

It was just a normal school day he told himself as he stood under the searing hot spray cascading from the shower head. He tried to block out the shadowing images of the day before that danced their way back into his head. The images seemed to mock him. They were the ones that were once again causing the nagging and sickening worry at the pit of his stomach. The same worry that had occupied his thoughts all of last night and prevented him from the temporary escape of sleep.

He couldn't take it back; no matter how much he may want to. The words that he had spoken only weeks before were out there and wouldn't be forgotten in a long time. Those confidential words spoken only to a video camera had given him a momentary release as he had unleashed at least some of the pain he'd carried around with him since he had started Tree Hill High. It had felt good, liberating. But the rest of the school had never been meant to see it. Yesterday everyone had as the time capsule was released and his world span into chaos.

"Hurry up," his mother's voice penetrated his walls. "You're going to be late."

In a daze Jimmy had dragged his weary body from the shower, dressed hurriedly as he was now late and jumped into the car by his mother's side. She turned to him with her expression full of concern but she didn't ask him what was wrong. He had been sent home just like any other student the day before. But unlike every other student her son was the one that everyone was talking about. High School was hell for him and she knew that, she felt somewhat responsible for her son's inability to fit in but she also felt powerless to help her son as he shut himself away from him a little more each and every day.

"_So, you wanna know what it's like in my high school? Well, the truth is, there's not a single person in this place worth remembering. You see, the people here are fake so they stick to their cliques to hide it."_

As soon as his mom left him at the curb he pulled out his lighter and cigarettes. He needed to calm his already frayed nerves. As he light up he saw all these people noticing him. Everyone finally noticed him. The entire school had heard his inner most thoughts and they had finally listened. They were finally getting the full picture.

He stood out in the quad taking a drag of his cigarette and critically surveyed the crowds of his peers. He watched as the pretty brunette cheerleader captain talked and giggled with her captivated squad at the benches. He watched as his one of his closest former friends now stood with the rest of the basketball team as he himself battled to be accepted by the school's varsity team and subsequently forgot all those he'd grown up with and became just like all those jocks they had grown up hating and joking about.

"_I mean, the stoners are medicated, the honour students are afraid. The jocks ...well, they're jocks man. They'll peak at seventeen and their cheerleader girlfriends will be fat and lonely by twenty-one."_

With one final drag he dropped the cigarette onto the concrete and stubbed it out with the toe of his sneaker. He had been so right about what he had said on that cursed video.

"Show time," he murmured to himself before he entered into that school. He braced himself for what he was about to endure just like he did every single day.

"_Everyone here is a loser. And the truth is; every day I have to come to this school, is one __less__ day I have to come back......."_

He walked uncertainly down the corridor as students who had been preoccupied with their lockers and private conversations now all turned their eyes onto him. And only him. They watched and whispered to one another; some even sniggered. He focused his eyes firmly at the floor, shaking inwardly but trying not to let it show.

Once he reached his own locker he found it open as several boys went through its contents and threw all of his books and papers on to the floor carelessly.

"Nice locker loser," Russ, a dark haired boy who'd made his life a miserable said as he possibly could. Russ kicked his possessions aside before he and his friends moved away laughing and jeering.

Jimmy gritted his teeth in an effort to control his anger. Something had to be done. He decided in that in a split second and reached in to the depths of his pockets. He didn't think he'd actually contemplated using the weapon until that precise moment. He just wanted it all to stop. He wanted it all to just go away.

Everything seemed to fall away as he raised the gun. He tightened his grip as he heard the telltale click. Time stood still as faces turned and all attentions fell captivated on him once again. A mixture of fear blended with disbelief was etched on each and every one of them. They couldn't quite believe this was happening.

_Bang._

The instant he pulled the trigger and he heard the shattering of glass and the penetrated screams of terror he struggled to maintain control. His hand shook. He thought he would feel empowered as he took matters into his own hands. He had wanted some sort of a release like he'd had on that day they had filmed the time capsule. However that sense of liberation didn't come this time.

He looked around with a baited breath as students began scrambling away as quickly as they could. Books and bags were forgotten and dropped to the floor in the bid for escape and survival. There were screams of panic and desperation as they began to run toward the closest available exits. His heart pounded painfully in his chest as the fears ignited around him.

He couldn't take this back. Not now and not ever.

He quickly placed the gun back into his pocket and turned from the direction in which he had fired. Jimmy mingled in with the crowd, disappearing in with the harried chaos.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note – Hey guys, sorry for the wait on this chapter. My weeks are going to be a little hectic between now and Christmas what with starting a part time job and my studies. I am of course still going to be writing as I can't not! But if there are delays I apologise in advance.

Thanks to everyone for reading the first chapter and for the support. Today marks a year since I started writing on FF. Writing has been something I always wanted to do; I have always had an over active imagination but didn't know whether I was good enough. Being on here and having the feedback I have has been just awesome. It's helped me to experiment and perfect my writing style, so thanks guys!

One reader asked why Jimmy would be so depressed at the beginning of Season one if he was still best friends with the River Court boys; all I can say for now is since Lucas joined the Ravens he did become more distant from Jimmy and the others as he adjusted to playing for the team. And Jimmy also was dealing with some problems earlier than he probably did on the show. Any questions please do ask; and I'll try to answer best I can. Enjoy!

Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 1 – Somewhere I Belong

How long does it really take for our lives to change? Can one split second alter our life and our thoughts and reason? Can one event or a single action spark chaos into our lives and our hearts and leave us questioning everything we have ever known and believed in? Can it truly leave us questioning our faith and searching for answers in our world now seemingly full of nothing but tragedy and disbelief?

It was just another day, students arrived and teachers began their day with coffee in the teacher's lounge. No one saw it coming. No one was ready for what was to come. No one was ready for their lives to be altered and changed in the split second it takes to pull a trigger......

The day before had begun with heavy seasonal rain pelting down on the parking lot. The students had traipsed in wet and cold and just wanting the day to be over before it had even begun. They had been uninterested in their surrounding until they saw one another on the school's monitors and communications system. As secrets were spilled from the mouths of "strangers" suddenly interest and conversation sparked amongst them. It was fun for some, it was humiliating for others... for one it was disastrous.

"_Everyone here is a loser. And the truth is; every day I have to come to this school, is one __less__ day I have to come back......."_

The look etched across _that_ boy's face betrayed his anger as much as his words of contempt had done. His resentment over being mistreated and ignored and the fury he directed at the school made him someone no one would ignore or forget any longer.

However today was a new day. It "game day", a chance to celebrate and compete united as a school. It was a chance to move on; an opportunity to forgive and forget. The Ravens vs. the Pirates and the majority of the student body had hoped they would be distracted by the game. Everyone had just wanted to forget the humiliation and shocks the release of the time capsule had caused yesterday.

Peyton Sawyer presently walked down the corridor, her iPod on loud; she tried to remain captured by the beat and the angry vocals supplied by her artist of choice. Music had long since been her comfort and her salvation from reality. Today was no different as she attempted to deal with the fact that last night she had broken up with her long term boyfriend.

She was now trying unsuccessfully to ignore the curious stares; the stares of pity. She was a target of gossip; the girl whose boyfriend had cheated on her with her best friend. As the song on the iPod flicked from one and onto the next she realised she hadn't been at all focused on the music she'd spent the night before tracking down and downloading. Her head and heart both remained locked in the hurtful betrayal of two of her closest friends.

As Peyton rounded the corner to go to her locker she laid eyes on the one person she really did not want to see that day. Taking a shallow breath she attempted to keep her frustrations from boiling to the surface. She gripped tighter at the strap of her bag and quickened her step in a vain effort to avoid any communication with Brooke Davis.

"Peyton," the brunette uttered pleadingly. "Can we talk about this?"

Peyton abruptly stopped the girl's search for forgiveness as she shot her down with an icy stare. "Seriously Brooke? You sleep with my boyfriend and now expect to be instantly forgiven?"

"Just let me explain...." Brooke began as Peyton manoeuvred past her and headed off to her locker. "You were broken up...." she uttered after the retreating form and then with a huff Brooke swallowed both her pride and irritation and strode off after the feisty and fuming blonde.

"Peyton..."Brooke called and caught the arm of her best friend. Her chocolate brown eyes gazed curiously at Peyton as the blonde stood rigid and frozen in motion.

_He has a gun...._

Peyton immediately tightened her hand protectively over Brooke's arm in caution. Her heart pelted painfully in her chest and the terrified swelling forming in her throat cut off her words of warning. The brunette however let her eyes wonder onto the sight that had captured Peyton's attention. Both then felt the true realisation and impact on what was rapidly unfolding.

_The kid, Jimmy, from the time capsule.....he was pointing a gun...._

Trying not to panic and trying to get away from the scene as quickly as possible both girls turned in their bid for safety. The sound of a metallic click rang out behind them.

_Bang!_

Chaos ignited quicker than flames. The bullet sped through the unoccupied space and shattered the glass of a nearby door.

Principle Turner burst into the office amongst all his confused and wide eyed colleagues and he pointed his attentions at a secretary. "Call nine-one-one," he instructed urgently. He reached for and pressed down hard on the button of the microphone which was linked to every available tannoy in the school. He leaned down and spoke into it.

"Code red," he paused to control the shaking that betrayed his own voice. "This is a code red. This is not a drill. All students should report to a designated lock-down area. I repeat this is a code red."

Brooke began to pull herself unsteadily onto her feet at those stern words of instruction. Her legs were weak and a fellow student helped her up and hurriedly directed them both to the door. Brooke's head was a mass of fear and confusion as her body remained terrified. Once outside however another cold realisation dawned upon her.

"Peyton? Peyton?" The brunette glanced behind her as she tried to place her friend's whereabouts. Peyton was supposed to be right behind her. But presently as her eyes scanned the students as they ran to safety her eyes couldn't place the curly haired blonde. Blinded by the threat of tears Brooke made for Nathan Scott.

"Someone's I got a gun inside," Brooke, the usually perky and sometimes bitchy cheer captain sobbed as she ran up to Nathan and the rest of the basketball team. "Someone's got a gun and they're shooting."

Nathan braced Brooke up right holding her by the elbows; his eyes spanned the students stampeding from the doors of the school building. He tried to remain calm as he watched the situation unfold with a sense of surrealism. He watched Principal Turner vacate the building accompanied by teaching and administration staff.

"Peyton?" Brooke murmured as she focused her wide frightened eyes up onto his own. "I lost her. She was right behind me."

Nathan's already uneven breaths caught painfully in his throat. He couldn't allow himself to fully think of all the implications of what Brooke was telling him. His girlfriend could be inside. Inside the school with someone with a gun.

"_Being popular? I guess I'm popular. I mean I'm in that circle. I'm a cheerleader. I'm surrounded by friends and dating the captain of the basketball team. And yet I feel so alone. And he doesn't even know me. And yet when he came into my life...I don't know....it's just he really sees me. And that scares me. I mean, I don't really know this guy and yet when I talk to him it's like he really understands me."_

They'd been fighting since the morning before; since Nathan had seen Peyton on the time capsule and learnt that his true thoughts, jealousies and fears were not far off the mark. He'd learnt that indeed his girlfriend did secretly have some feelings towards his brother. Nathan had been so angry at her. He'd felt so betrayed and had acted out to betray her. He had slept with her best friend to get back at her. However any ill feeling washed away from him as focused his dazed mind into action.

"I'm so sorry," Brooke sobbed. All she could do now was hope that her friend would come out of the school unharmed and keep all the negative and fearful thoughts, which were swimming in her sub conscious, at bay.

"No," Nathan whispered in disbelief before he moved forward from Brooke's hold and barged through the crowds of frightened students. He couldn't just stand outside on the concrete waiting. He had to act; if Peyton was inside and hurt he had to do more than just wait and hope.

"Nathan," Coach Whitey Durham caught him by the arms. "There's nothing you can do."

Nathan struggled to get free but Whitey held him firm to the spot unwilling to let him go back to the school.

"Coach," Nathan uttered almost pleadingly. "Peyton's in there. She's still in the school."

Whitey's expression softened. So often at practice Nathan Scott slipped into the same mould as his father Dan Scott who Whitey had coached years back. Nathan could be such a frustratingly difficult player but every so often the young man surprised him.

"She'll be ok son," the old coach replied. He just hoped that she would be; that they all would be.

---x---

Peyton lay slumped against the wall as the corridors emptied. The screams and commotion had filtered away outside and left her alone in silence. She rested her head against the cool stone wall and breathed in deeply. She told her dizzying mind that she needed to remain calm and assess the situation.

She knew she couldn't walk; her leg had been injured and as everyone had rushed from the scene she'd had to drag herself from their path and into a darkened corner. Now as she chanced a look at her bloodied leg she tried not to cry. The knee of her dark blue jeans was stained dark with blood. The pain in her leg was overwhelmingly intense; as she attempted to flex the tender limb she bit her lip against the sparks of agony the simple movement caused her.

Being out in the open like this wasn't good. She needed to find somewhere to hide. She remembered his face; he didn't look angry or crazy like she'd imagined a student coming into a school with a gun would do. No, the _boy_ had looked alone, desperate and scared as he'd held out the gun and pulled the trigger.

But she still didn't want to take the chance that he or another student might come back. Slowly and painfully Peyton began to crawl towards the school library. It was the closest room available and she figured she could hide amongst the stack until help arrived.

---x---

Being popular and trying to fit had been something Lucas had forgotten at an early age was of any real importance. He and his closest friends were outsiders; a close little unit united against all the coldness of popularity. Lucas hadn't cared one bit what the elite students of Tree Hill High had thought about him. That was until he had joined the Ravens Basketball team and Peyton Sawyer had come into his life.

He'd known her as his own brother's girlfriend; the broody cheerleader he used to watch because she was different. Because she was special. Since he had joined the team the two of them had talked, only a little and to him their conversations had all been exchanges of shyness and insignificance on his part. But since the time capsule had been released he had learnt that Peyton saw him more than just the strange boy who read far too much and watched her when he thought she wasn't looking. He was the boy; that in Peyton's very own words, seemed to really know her.

Her "secret" time capsule confession was common knowledge now. It had left Lucas feeling both elated that she had truly noticed him and more confused than ever as Nathan and the team continued to give him a hard time. Well, a harder time than they'd been giving him before as they stepped up with their relentless hazing efforts.

Lucas dribbled the ball on the hardwood court in the Raven's gym. He needed to be on top form tonight. His mind cast back to the day when Whitey had first offered him the position on the school's Varsity team. Lucas had immediately disliked the quietness of the gym; to him basketball was about friends coming together and bonding over a sport they loved. That is what his days at the River Court had been all about. But now as his world had become altered he found himself appreciating the empty, clean gym just as the wise Coach had said. Here away from his team mates he had hoped to have the opportunity to focus on the game.

He had his iPod on full as he tried to make his shots. Shots that even on his _worst_ days like when he was sick or upset he would have easily have made. Now however his occupied mind continuously trailed to the one girl he knew he couldn't want. As the ball missed the net by mere inches once again Lucas narrowed his eyes. All he could think about was her and her glittering emerald eyes as she spoke her words into the video camera; the words that he had so longed to hear. That she had noticed him too.

Lucas caught the rebounding ball and stole a glance at the clock on the wall. He sighed heavily realising he was late for class. Lucas scooped up his bag from the bleachers and slinging it over his shoulders he pushed through the doors and into the school.

He immediately knew that sometimes was wrong as he left the sanctity of the gym. His brow furrowed and he slowed his step and began to move cautiously along the isolated corridors. He saw the each and every class room he passed was empty. The entire building was eerie and deserted; something wasn't right.

He rounded the corner to the locker area, his heart had quickened in its pace and his eyes surveyed all the books and bags laid strewn across the floor. His gaze stopped sharply at the shattered glass littered across the floor. The air dried up in his lungs as he noticed the spatters of blood.

Something bad had gone on here. Someone was hurt. Lucas's stomach churned with fear and alertness. He should really try and vacate the school, he knew that. He had his mom to think about. His mom and him had been a close little team; a tight little family unit. He had to think of her as he was all she had. If there was a chance that there was someone in the school with a gun he should try to get out. But Karen Roe; the good and selfless woman that she was had raised a good son.

As his eyes strayed back down to the familiar khaki school bag his heart skipped a beat. He crouched down and saw that there was blood smeared at its edges. His sickness over the terrifying situation was replaced by an instinct that was so strong as he finally noticed the trails of blood carrying off towards the school's library.

She was hurt....

Lucas firmly made up his mind then and there that he was staying.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note – Hey guys, thanks so much to everyone who reads and supports this story and sorry for the delay. My life is crazy and hectic right now and will be til after Christmas but I will do my best to keep the updates coming.

Enjoy.

Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 2 – Lying from You

Have you ever thought much about how you would die? Where you would prefer to be; and who you would be with? It's morbid I know...but sometimes I think about it. Death was something I learnt about at an early age. But I've thought about it before. And the thing is I keep myself closed off from most people as I don't want to be left behind again. I don't want to be left hurting and empty. But if today is my last day then I guess I get a free pass right...I'd be able to say how I feel and not have to fear the outcome.

The library was not safe for her, or for him. Lucas knew that; the doors didn't lock and the space was too large and too open. He pushed his way through the large doors and onto the balcony of the upper tier of the library. He stared down at the room's wide expanse. All of his senses were on hyper alert, tuned in for the slightest prick of noise or the tiniest movement. There was no sign of her or anyone else for that matter. He struggled to keep his heart from beating out of his chest and gripped tighter onto the baseball bat he'd had the good sense to bring back from the gym.

Lucas crept down the stairwell determined to see this out even though his own survival instincts screamed at him to turn and run. He moved silently past the desks of computers and began to weave his way through the stacks. He heard a noise, barely there but definitely enough to make his ears prickle and his heart pounded so fast that he thought it might just give out. It came from the row of stacks just in front of him. He took several determined steps forward whilst his fingers curled tightly around the bat's handle.

Then in one swift movement without really giving himself time to think he moved into view of whoever was behind the shelf. He raised the bat high; if it wasn't Peyton, if it was in fact the shooter, he wanted to ensure he could defend himself.

Peyton cried out fearing he would strike at her before he even knew for sure that it was her. Lucas immediately dropped the bat with a thud on the carpeted floor as he bent down next to her. Her green eyes were wide and glittered with tears and terror. She lay propped up against the book shelves, her right leg stained with blood. "It's ok," Lucas said as reassuringly as possible. "It's ok, it's me, Lucas."

"He had a gun," Peyton murmured at a barely audible whisper as she attempted to explain. "The boy from the time capsule...Jimmy Edwards. I got cut by some glass."

His head spun with the fact that his friend had come into the school with a gun. Jimmy was a nice boy, he was shy, smart and a little misunderstood but he wasn't capable of this. Jimmy was someone who had always been a part of his life. They'd played basketball with Jimmy commentating; he and Jimmy had spent summers working together at Keith's auto shop. They had always been close. That was up until recently when Lucas found himself more preoccupied with competing with his own teammates and trying to fit into a world that he didn't believe he truly belonged.

Lucas mentally shook himself back to the library. He didn't know what to think about the piece of news he'd just heard but he knew he had to get Peyton out of harm's way. She needed medical attention. The wound at her leg was deep and she was losing blood rapidly.

"Come on. We need to get you out of here," Lucas told her urgently taking hold of her hand in an effort to help her to her feet but she resisted.

"I can't...I can't walk," she sobbed. "I tried."

His eyes moved down to her leg once again and he swallowed hard. "Ok," he murmured lowly as he tried to think of what was best to do. They couldn't be here, it wasn't safe.

"Don't leave me please," her voice was pitched with terror at the prospect of dying alone and she began to cry harder. "Please don't leave me."

"Hey Peyton, listen to me," he stated firmly enough to capture the girl's attentions. He crouched down to her level taking her cold hand into his. "I'm not leaving you. We'll just hide out here ok."

Lucas's mind fluttered momentarily from the scene and back to only a couple of weeks ago when in a class assignment he'd described her as lonely. The girl may have hidden behind a wall of tough talk and anger but he knew different. She was in a bad way and that really terrified him. He struggled to remain calm though he knew he didn't have much choice on that matter. She was bleeding and in shock; he was no good to her if he lost it and gave into the darkened fears that threatened to break through into his mind. "I'm not leaving you here. I won't, ok, I promise," he repeated again as he locked her eyes with his own.

Peyton nodded her head at his reassurances and her grasp tightened at his wrist.

"Ok we need to stop the bleeding," Lucas stated after she'd calmed down. He moved for closer inspection of the wound. Dread and fear poisoned through his veins as he came to the realisation that the bullet was lodged in Peyton's injured limb. It wasn't glass; Jimmy had shot her. He hoped his face wouldn't betray his growing concerns at her condition and their situation.

He shrugged off his jacket and then his plaid button down shirt. He tied the garment tightly at her knee to staunch the bleeding and heard her whimpers of pain as he worked. The method was crude but he hoped it would slow down the bleeding at least. Peyton looked down at the tourniquet once he had finished and offered a little smile.

"I'm just going to go barricade us in," Lucas told her as he draped his jacket over her shoulders remembering from what little aid training he had that he'd need to keep Peyton warm. His hand stroked back the stray curls from her forehead. "I'll be right back ok," he told her again as he rose up to his full height.

Peyton nodded slightly as she pulled Lucas's jacket closer to her body.

---x---

Jimmy peered through the blinds at the world outside the tutor centre. He observed as the police and teachers now gathered together on the parking lot. He watched as the terrified students swarmed towards one another as they tried to offer comfort.

The police were of course there to assess the situation before coming inside and taking him away. He wondered if he'd do jail time or if he would be sent to some institution to make him "better". He thought idly that maybe he should have taken hostages. Given himself a better chance; given him something to bargain with. But then he hadn't prepared for this; he hadn't truly wanted this. Or at least he didn't believe he did. He didn't want to hurt anyone and he didn't know what he would do even if he had have taken students hostage. He was as his mother told him in one embarrassing "mother-son" talks a gentle boy. A misunderstood boy.

His stomach churned with fear as he watched police officials surround the front of the building. They may not come in just yet but they were here to assess the situation and take charge.

It seemed strange to him that now the world outside seemed dark and ominous and the school itself was tranquil and his salvation. He tried not to marvel in that ironic fact. He couldn't take it back; his momentary lapse of self control and his attempts to for once feel in charge of his own personal hell now would brand him a monster. He'd seen on the news before as a child broke and took a gun into a school and then lived on not as a victim but a whisper and a name of someone to be feared.

With a shaking hand Jimmy lit up a cigarette, he needed to think, normally he wouldn't have ever dreamed of breaking such a rule inside his place of learning. But then today seemed the day for breaking the rules.

What he had done not even an hour ago still seemed surreal to him. It felt like he was looking in on someone else's life. He barely remembered walking into the school this morning; he had been almost in a daze and as he had finally pulled the trigger he had snapped into the reality of what he had just done.

Taking a long cleansing drag from the cigarette Jimmy took another glance between the blinds. The outside world stood still. Police officials gathered in the parking lot watching and waiting; waiting for the time strike.

Jimmy slowly exhaled and watched the puff of smoke filter through the still air. He tried his best to ignore the cold vice like feeling at his core as realisation hit that nothing in Tree Hill would ever be the same again.

---x---

Principal Turner along with several of the teachers and Coach Durham had herded the students from the parking lot and to the cafeteria which was separate from the rest of the school building. The students sat perched on tables or chairs in their small clustered groups talking in hushed shocked voices as they tried to fathom what had just happened. Slowly but surely Principal Turner had conducted the role call and determined that four students remained unaccounted for. The man had hurriedly relayed his discovery to the police captain and soon the children's parents who began to arrive.

Haley James sat anxiously in her chair as she waited to be collected by her parents and she waited to know that her friends were alright. She watched her peers hug each other, some cried and others sat in silence. Haley waited for her best friend, but she didn't see him.

Lucas was missing and unaccounted for. That realisation sent Haley's world into a sickening spin. Her oldest and closest friend was in trouble and their last conversation left a bitter tang of guilt in her throat as she knew they hadn't parted on good terms.

"_So I guess this is as good a time as any to confess my sins. Well not sins exactly but..... Well yeah I guess you could call them sins. See I've been lying to my best friend. I've been tutoring his brother. I started tutoring him just to get him to stop has hassling Lucas. That was all it was. This all started because I was trying to help Lucas. But Nathan Scott; I really didn't want to like him. But he's different when he's around me. He's not really who everyone says he is. He's nice and I think maybe I'm falling for him. And when I think of what that could do to my friendship..."_

Lucas was really mad at her. When he had seen her extract on the time capsule he had been so angry. She couldn't remember a time when he'd ever been so angry at her. They hadn't spoken since the time capsule's release but it wasn't like Haley hadn't tried to explain. She had, she'd called over twenty times leaving messages of apology. In her head all she had been trying to do was stop Nathan's efforts to torment Lucas. She hadn't meant to actually start to care about Nathan; she hadn't wanted to get to know him. She hadn't meant to be falling for him in such a big and scary way.

"Haley," Karen Roe's uncertain voice stirred Haley from the unwanted memory. Haley pulled herself up immediately and threw her arms around the woman she had always considered a second mother. Haley felt a mother's comfort for a few blissful seconds but then remembered why Karen looked so pale and afraid. She had undoubtedly received a call like every other parent; though for Karen she would also know that Lucas was still inside the school.

"I'm so glad you're ok," Karen said with a suppressed sob as she and Haley broke apart. "Are your parents here?"

"They're on their way," Haley replied. "Is Lucas...." she couldn't even bring herself to finish her sentence.

The look in Karen's dark eyes told Haley her worst fears were now a fact and Haley struggled hard not to just break down and cry.

"I couldn't even tell the police what Lucas was wearing," Karen stated then and Haley offered the woman a hand of comfort. "I should have been able to say what Lucas was wearing."

"It's going to be ok," Haley whispered softly. Lucas was Karen's whole world. Lucas was important to both of them and Haley couldn't even begin to imagine a world without her goofy best friend.

Her stomach almost plummeted as she turned from Karen and her eyes fell onto Nathan and Brooke sitting amongst the cheerleaders and basketball players. Both wore expressions of fear and hopelessness that matched her own. Not wanting to be alone with her thoughts, Haley shuffled forward to the popular kids' table. As Nathan met her eyes he pulled himself the table and moved towards her.

"Hey," Haley murmured with a weak gesture of her hand. "Are you ok?"

Nathan was both pale and shaken. "Peyton's in there."

"Lucas is in there too."

"I'm really scared Haley," Nathan uttered quietly betraying a vulnerability she'd never thought she would see in him.

"Me too," the petite brunette agreed as she thought of her best friend trapped inside the school along with Nathan Scott's girlfriend. Her throat constricted and she involuntarily sobbed. Nathan's arms enveloped her then and drew her in closer to his body and stroked a hand through her hair. As he did so, she was reminded once again that he wasn't always the harsh competitive boy he tried so hard to be.

---x---

Peyton's eyelids fluttered together and her head slipped onto Lucas's shoulders. She was so cold and exhausted and staying awake was becoming harder. Her leg was becoming numb to the pain now which was a welcome relief from the agony she'd felt earlier. If she closed her eyes her subconscious would take her from a terrifying situation and into the echo of a forgotten world. Imagines began to swirl beneath her heavy lids carrying her back to the night before.

"_Come on Peyton. I dare you to show us how you really feel. Kiss Lucas."_

_At the words of her best friend Peyton was back in Nathan's beach house. She stood amongst friends and enemies. She stood was a plastic cup of beer in her hand and Lucas at her side. How and why Lucas was even at the party was now irrelevant._

_Brooke sat with her arm extended toward the blue eyed boy and a look of devilishness on her perfect face._

"_Brooke come on," Peyton rasped as irritation struck her hard. She was here to get Nathan to talk to her but now embarrassment stung at her cheeks and Lucas's full cherry lips and strong arms became all the more tempting. She liked him; she had told the whole world she did._

"_We've all seen the time capsule P Sawyer. We all know your secret. We all know he's the one who understands you."_

_Peyton looked down in shame anything avoid his burning gaze._

"_You want my world man? You want her then kiss her." Nathan's clouded eyes and jealousies were focused on her._

_Peyton felt the sting of tears as all eyes in the room fell on her. She pushed past Lucas and ran from the heated shame and out into the coldness of the pouring rain....her skin was so cold...._

"_Peyt."_

"Peyt," Lucas shook her sharply at her shoulder and her eyes focused back on the blue eyed boy who gazed worriedly back at her. "You need to stay awake, ok?"

Peyton's blurry vision slowly cleared as she now remembered where she was and who she was with.

"I need you to stay awake," came again from those same perfect lips.

"Talk to me," Lucas said then as he watched as Peyton's head rested back against the stacks and she huddled herself deeper into his jacket as she tried to control her shivering. "Tell me something."

"Like what?" Peyton enquired and arched her brow.

Lucas stopped himself for a moment. He'd never been shy around girls, well that wasn't necessarily true; he'd just never been interested in girls other than Peyton Sawyer.

"Anything," he gave a shrug of his shoulders. He just wanted to keep her mind off the pain and her fears. "A story, a secret, I don't know." Though in his opinion the last couple of days had seen enough secrets to fuel the rest of the school year he knew he had to everything he could to keep her awake and alert.

"Ok," Peyton murmured still hesitant. She wasn't the type of girl to offer details about herself willingly.

"That's a pretty necklace," Lucas ventured innocently when she failed to say anything. He'd seen her wearing the silver dove pendent for the past week now when he shouldn't have really been looking at her. The little silver dove hung just below her collarbone.

His compliment made her look down at the necklace and a sad look traced its way over her features. She gave a slight nod of her head as her fingers curled around the jewellery. He had wanted her to talk about herself and suddenly words spilled from her lips.

"My mom gave it to me. When I was eight we drove to a fishing port to see my dad. It was Christmas and he was going to be working away for the holidays. We drove to the fishing port and my dad took us out on the water for the afternoon. I felt so happy and free that day. The sea was glittering like jewels and I was sitting up on my daddy's shoulders. It was just perfect.

"When it was time for us to leave I cried; I just wanted us all to be together for Christmas morning. We stood at the docks and we waved him off again but I didn't stop crying. We met a sailor and he gave the necklace to my mom to give to me and told us it stood for hope and love. That my dad loved me and we'd be back together soon enough."

"My mom's dead," she finally found the strength to utter that statement. "That was the last Christmas we spent together. The anniversary of her death is a week away and I'm all my dad has left."

"Peyton," Lucas began sadly but didn't know how to comfort her so he placed an arm around her shoulders instead. She'd grown up without her mother and he'd grown up without a father.

"I'd have never thought I was going to spend my last hours here and alone with you," Peyton murmured breaking the uncertain silence that hung between them.

"Nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it," he promised her. He let his fingers lace together with her own. "We're gonna get out of this." They fell quiet once again and she rested her head against his chest. She wasn't supposed to be glad that if she had to be trapped with anyone in such a dire situation then she was truly glad it was Lucas Scott. He was the only thing that was keeping her from breaking down into tears and panic. She knew he had to be scared but he hid it well as he took care of her.

"They're gonna come now." Lucas turned to her as her words trailed off into the cool air. Her statement now caught him off guard.

"Who?" he asked leadingly. His expression furrowed with confusion.

Peyton let her eyelids rest together as she relived the endless days of pain and turmoil that had followed her mother's death. "All of them; the psychologists and the analysts and the so-called experts. And they're going to try to make sense of this...of this tragedy, just like they always do. But they're not going to be able to. And even if we do make it out of here we're always going to carry this day with us. We won't forget and nothing will ever be the same again."

"Peyton," Lucas uttered now struggling to keep his fears from trailing past his lips. She was getting worse, that's what he kept on thinking. He needed to get her out and he needed to get medical help. They both knew there was a bullet in her leg but they were both just too afraid to let that realisation out into the reality of the situation.

"I wanted to..." Peyton began with a shaking tone but stopped as Lucas turned to face her again. Under his gaze she felt more self conscious that she thought she ever had.

"You wanted to what?"

"I wanted to kiss you," she answered simply and honestly. "At the party."

"Peyt..."he felt his mouth go dry. He had been so disappointed and conflicted as she had walked away from him the night before.

Peyton felt the tingle of butterflies in spite of herself. She had always hated that nickname, she had always hated when anyone shortened her name yet when Lucas called her that she felt like a little girl with her first real crush.

"Kiss me," she uttered impulsively. In their current situation she no longer felt the need to be uncertain and guarded over her feelings for him.

Lucas cupped her face with his hand letting his crystal blues meet with her emerald eyes. He didn't want to ruin the moment with his fumbling talk and shyness so he simply adhered to her request. He'd imagined kissing the girl of his dreams for so long, granted this wasn't the situation he'd ever envisioned for a kiss with Peyton Sawyer but somehow it felt right. He pulled in closer letting his lips brush lightly against her own.

The kiss was all she'd imagined it would be; sweet and honest just like Lucas was himself. She smiled as they broke apart and his hand stroked through her tousled curls as he didn't want to break contact with her.

Then the sound of a rattling door handle caused the moment to shatter. Peyton immediately stiffened in Lucas's embrace. Someone was trying to get in.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note – Hey guys so I guess the last couple of months with work and far too many deadlines has made writing a little tricky for me. I am really sorry for the delay on this! As always a big thank you to all for reading this story. Enjoy.

Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 3 – Sound of a Gun

Perhaps the most frightening thing about growing up is not realising that bad things will happen. We learn to accept that bad things are inevitable and a part of life. Bad things will always happen even in the most perfect of worlds. No, the most frightening realisation of all is that we are often responsible for the evils inflicted upon us.

---x---

Lucas was in another place entirely as he kissed Peyton becoming lost to her. He'd played the moment of their first kiss over in his head so many times but none had been as right as this. Lucas broke apart from her almost begrudgingly and Peyton's emerald eyes meet with his own crystal blues and she offered a shy smile. Lucas didn't think he'd ever seen Peyton Sawyer wear such an expression, certainly not a look that he'd invoked in her. He ran his hand through her tangled curls; the curls that had captured him years ago and mentally promised himself he would save her.

The moment had short lived yet wonderful and he hoped there may be many more to come.

The brief escape was all too short as fear and uncertainty flooded between them. Peyton's entire body froze and stiffened against his own in a split second. The near perfect moment was shattered as Lucas heard the repeated click of the door handle and he then watched as Peyton's beautiful face clouded with terror. Lucas listened to the sound of someone trying to get into the library and felt his heart pelt painfully in his chest.

"Lucas," Peyton said. Her voice was quiet barely there and yet the sheer alarm it held mirrored his own. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't.....I don't know," his voice hit a full stop but his thoughts went into hyper drive. He focused on where the noise was coming from; _he_ was coming from the Tutor Centre which meant he was blocking Lucas and Peyton's bid for escape. Lucas didn't think they'd make it past Jimmy that way. He didn't like their chances.

The banging from the door became increasingly angry and threatening and Lucas's head screamed that he needed to get them out of there. He needed to do something. He moved slowly to the retrieve the baseball bat from where he'd dropped it earlier. He knew the bat was no match for a gun but at least it was something to defend them with.

"Go," Peyton murmured in a low but firm voice and only her glistening tears betrayed her. It took Lucas a moment to understand the meaning behind her instruction. He stood a better chance without her and they both knew it. Her arms were out stretched as she now pushed him from her, commanding him to stand and run. The sweetness of the girl who just wanted to be loved was now replaced by the willfulness of the person he'd seen so many times.

"Lucas! Go!"

"What? No. I'm not leaving you," he told her with resolve reminding them both of his promise only hours ago. Leaving her was not an option for him. He'd never forgive himself if he acted so selfishly.

"Lucas! Go!" Peyton hissed with a new found courage she didn't think she could possess in such a situation. She knew that if Lucas left on his own he could easily climb through a window or take a longer route from the library and away from the school. She slowed him down. She didn't want to be left alone. But then Lucas had been so good to her and she didn't want him to stay if he had a chance to get out of this.

"No," Lucas said with a firm shake of his head now finding himself equally as stubborn as the hot headed girl. He knew why she was saying it and the gesture was noble but he could never bring himself to do that.

"I'm slowing you down," she told him matter of factly. "What about your mom?"

There was a shattering crack that could only mean that Jimmy was making progress outside. Peyton let out an involuntary half scream half cry.

Lucas took her small hand into his own, trying his best to ignore the fact that it was now as cold as ice. He locked eyes with her preventing her from becoming lost to the nightmare that captured her. "Hey I'm not leaving. Nothing's going to happen to us. Peyton, listen to me. We're gonna get out of this. You need to be here for your dad and I need to be here for my mom. Ok? You just need to trust me. I know Jimmy. I can talk to him."

Peyton nodded in agreement as she used her other hand to wipe away the stray tears from her cheek. Lucas gripped her hand tighter marking their silent pact.

With the sound of a heavy heaving crack the door finally gave way to the intruder. Then several thuds followed as the library's furniture was thrown from _his_ path. Lucas heard the telling sounds of footsteps. Jimmy was coming for them. To Lucas the day couldn't get more surreal but the shocks and surprises just kept on coming.

Peyton cried silently against Lucas's chest as they both could only listen to the sound of his approach. She felt weak and girly for truly breaking down but in that moment she didn't know what else to do. She felt like such a hindrance and she hated that.

"It's ok," Lucas murmured trying to soothe her. He needed to keep a calm and clear head and he knew he needed to try and talk to Jimmy. He hoped that he could still reason with Jimmy; he had known him better than most. He hoped that he could appeal to the good that was undoubtedly still in the boy.

Lucas could only listen as the footsteps became nearer and nearer. The air he breathed seemed cold and brittle and his breaths became increasingly shallow. Peyton's trembling began to ease off as she listened to the intruder's approach as well. Her eyes met with his and she was wordlessly reminded of his promise to protect her.

Finally after what seemed more like an eternity than mere seconds the final echoing thud meant Jimmy had found them. Lucas craned his neck and he saw a greying sneaker first before he raised his eyes to Jimmy's red hoodie and then finally to his face. Jimmy's face was pale, his eyes troubled and shadowed like he was just as shocked and afraid of the role he was now living.

But in his hands Jimmy still held the gun. It was cradled delicately between finger and thumb but it was still pointed in malice. The gun he had brought into school and shattered the safe lives of every student.

For a moment there was just silence between them. Jimmy stared at the sight before him in disbelief as if he was as uncomfortable in the situation as Lucas and Peyton themselves.

"Lucas," Jimmy's voice was shrill and shaky as he stared down at his former friend, the pretty blonde cheerleader and the baseball bat clenched tightly in Lucas's hand. Jimmy's gaze fluttered from Lucas and to his gun and back again. Jimmy was now the predator, the monster, the bad guy in the scene. In that split second he made his choice.

"You! Get up!" Jimmy ordered with a harsh tone and angled the gun at Lucas Scott.

Lucas sat frozen for a moment. But he knew he had to give Jimmy the feeling of control and power if he had any chance of getting them out of this. Slowly he untangled himself from a reluctant Peyton.

Jimmy kept the gun on Lucas. Jimmy mentally cursed the heavens above that of all the people he could have come across in the library it had to be someone who he knew and still cared about.

Lucas stood on unsteady legs, his knees shaking and betraying him. Then he felt a sudden surge of adrenaline spark through his body. He moved in front of Peyton placing himself between her and Jimmy.

"Come on Jim," Lucas found his voice finally. It sounded distant like it was no longer his own.

"Now drop the bat!" Jimmy was more agitated now but is gun hand shook just a fraction. He knew of course that along with Lucas's height and athletic ability that Lucas was also holding a baseball bat and that wasn't good. Jimmy's chin quivered slightly despite his stern deliverance. "I'm not joking around here Luke. I will shoot. Drop it and kick it over. Now!"

Admitting defeat Lucas extended his arm and dropped the baseball bat in one slow and deliberate motion. The object hit the floor with a clunk and Lucas kicked it over to Jimmy.

Lucas stood with his arms still raised in surrender with the gun still pointed at him.

"She's hurt Jim," Lucas said hoping to get through to the Jimmy Edwards he knew.

Jimmy's face contorted into shock and fear as he saw what his actions in the hallway had done. His eyes took in his victim's bloodied jeans and the shirt tied at her leg. He felt an added and suffocating weight tugging in his chest. He hadn't meant to hurt her. Guilt and fear shook him to the core. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone. Jimmy knew Peyton Sawyer to be Lucas's childhood crush. She'd never done anything to Jimmy; sure she had never noticed him just like so many others but she wasn't mean or unkind.

"I didn't mean to hurt her," Jimmy managed uselessly. His shot in the school hallway was meant to be a warning; he never thought he would actually shoot someone.

"I know you didn't Jimmy." Lucas kept his voice even and sympathetic to Jimmy.

Jimmy tugged at the collar of his red hoodie as if it was choking him. He kept the gun pointed at his friend as he tried to forget the pale fear on the face of his victim. "I didn't mean to hurt her," he uttered again.

"You need to let her go." Lucas acted on that momentary lapse. He needed to appeal to the compassion Jimmy was showing. "She's hurt Jim. She needs medical attention. It'll be ok you just need to let her go."

"Shut up," Jimmy shouted back. He had to be strong. He couldn't go back out there into the real world after what he had done. Jimmy had altered the course of his life forever and he couldn't undo that now. "Shut up."

"You can still get out of this," Lucas continued on saying. "You didn't mean to do this. If you let her go now there's a chance you can still get out of this. I'll tell them you let her go."

"Shut up," Jimmy thundered again."Sit down and shut up."

Lucas sank back to the floor feeling the weight of defeat. The look Jimmy wore and the way his hand now squeezed painfully at the gun told Lucas that reasoning with his friend may not work. Lucas pulled Peyton back into his arms holding her close to him as he battled with the feeling of helplessness.

"No! Nobody goes out. Nobody gets in and nobody gets out."

Jimmy paced in front of them at his statement. He paced clenching the gun tightly in his hand.

---x---

The entire school and the parking lot were now enclosed by the yellow police tape. "Do not cross the line" it warned. Though judging by the fact that their world now stood frozen in an ominous terror no one would do so voluntarily.

Mary Edwards, Jimmy's mother, a petite and mousy looking woman arrived on the scene. She wore a look of anguish as she searched out for someone who could tell her that her son was safe and unharmed. She'd arrived like every other parent just wanting to know that her child was out of harm's way. She prayed that the churning feeling of maternal protectiveness within her was just that and would not become a mother's worst nightmare.

"Mrs Edwards?" the police official muttered lowly under his breath.

"Is my son ok?" she asked with a last shred of hope.

An arm stretched over her shoulder as the man asked her to come with him. The gesture seemed almost pitying. She knew even before she stood before the police captain what had happened. A mother always knows; or at least she should have known what her son was capable of.

_Several witnesses can confirm that your son brought a gun into the school today....._

The mother felt the swells of guilt as they told her what Jimmy had done and her knees barely supported her. She should have known. She had seen the signs of Jimmy spiralling downwards for so and yet she hadn't been able to protect him.

---x---

Jimmy lit up another cigarette leaning heavily against the table behind him. He gripped the little white stick tightly and inhaled deeply so the nicotine could reach his fraying nerves. The police sirens and helicopters had arrived and settled now surrounding them inside. As he felt the onset of calmness once again he moved from the windows and perched on one of the nearby study desks and stared at his unmoving hostages. Lucas had fell silent after his outburst but the cheerleader now studied him like a hawk.

"Why are you doing this?" Peyton felt the words pass her lips before she could stop herself. She still remembered Jimmy's face in the corridor. He had been scared and overwhelmed over what he had just done.

"Why am I doing this? Why? You think I wanted this?" Jimmy ranted angrily at her. "You think I got up today and just decided to shoot you? You don't know what it's like."

Peyton breath caught in her throat and she felt Lucas's arms tighten in warning around her body. Fitting in was hard Peyton of all people knew that. She was lucky enough she guessed to be part of the popular crowd but she didn't feel like she belonged there. She found the image of herself as a cheerleader laughable at times, she felt lonely even in the arms of the captain of the basketball team. She felt uncomfortable in the labels she had been given.

"I know it's not easy..." she tried reaching out again.

"Yeah?" Jimmy spat at her statement. "What do you know about it? You're beautiful, smart and surrounded by people just like you."

Peyton glared back at his blind judgements. "Just like me?"

"You think it's hard for you?" Jimmy snarled. "At least people notice you. At least people want to be around you."

"It's not like they really know me," she stated.

"Yeah that's right," Jimmy sniped remembering her time capsule as she indulged in what he thought of as self pity. "You're Peyton Sawyer the girlfriend of the basketball team star player with all your cheerleader friends. No one understands you right? No one gets you? I'd give anything to have your world whether they knew a thing about me or not. You're lucky and yet you're too stupid to realise it."

Jimmy puffed once again on his cigarette as he felt his anger rise. He felt some sense of satisfaction as Peyton's fiery retorts dwindled into silence.

The minutes ticked on by and Jimmy stubbed out his cigarette and lit up another. He watched as Lucas tended to a shivering Peyton and she held a hand to her injured limb. They weren't together but Jimmy knew all too well that Lucas had fallen for Peyton in Freshman year and now in the most bizarre circumstances the two had been thrown together.

"This is so screwed up," Jimmy muttered under his breath.

"Why are you doing this Jim?" Lucas focused his attention back to his friend. Back to the little boy with glasses that he'd looked out for since kindergarten. "A gun in the school? This isn't you."

"How would you know?" Jimmy shook slightly in disbelief. "It's not like we've been hanging out for the past couple of months. It's not like you know what's been going on with me."

"We're friends Jim," Lucas reminded him.

"No we _were_ friends Lucas. That is until you joined the team." Lucas didn't know what he had been going through. Like so many others Lucas Scott had failed to even notice Jimmy.

"I've been busy Jim," Lucas stated. It had been hard for him to keep up with all his obligations and he felt a sense of guilt that he had neglected that friendship. "I admit I haven't been around so much but..."

"But what?" Jimmy snarled incredulously.

"This isn't his fault," Peyton piped in as her own tempers rose. She'd seen from her own experiences that Lucas was there for anyone who needed help. "This is your fault."

"No. This is your fault. And the fault of all your pretty and popular friends. You think I want this?"

"This is your choice," she felt Lucas's fingers tighten once again on her arm and she merely choose to ignore it. "This is your choice and you can't blame anyone else."

Jimmy pointed his gun back in the cheerleader's direction. It silenced her judgements as she recoiled and shrank back against Lucas.

"You don't know what it's been like for me Lucas," Jimmy focused his anger back to his friend. As much as the taunts of the popular crowd had affected him it was the failings of his close friendship circle that upset him more. "Whilst you've been living it up as part of the team and being part of their world I've been dealing with so much stuff."

"Then talk to me," Lucas appealed to him. They had grown apart ever since Lucas had joined the basketball team at the beginning of the year and he felt bad for that. He knew Jimmy had become distant from not just him but all their friends from the River Court.

Jimmy shook his head as he started to pace again becoming lost to the hell he'd been living. The bullying had become worse as he found himself without the protection of his small group of friends. When he was alone walking the corridors the ridicule seemed to only worsen. He'd go home after each day and feel more upset and hopeless than he had even the day before. His school work had suffered and he felt more and more into his own little world distancing himself from everyone even his mother.

"You don't know what it's been like for me Luke," Jimmy muttered.

"Please Jim talk to me," Lucas tried once again.

"I took a bunch of pills last month. I tried to end it all," Jimmy's eyes locked with Lucas's own.

"Jim?" Guilt took hold and strangled Lucas. He hadn't known it was that bad. He thought Jimmy would come to him or one of their friends before it got to that.

"But not because of the bullies. I took a bunch of pills because of a girl."

Lucas's breath caught in his throat and guilt rushed in dizzying waves through his core. How could he not have known that? How could he not have noticed how hopeless Jimmy had felt enough to try and help him?

"My grades had fallen," Jimmy told his friend to fill in the blanks. "I was doing badly in class because I skipped or didn't concentrate. I got a tutor to try and catch up." His eyes flicked to Peyton. "Casey. She was pretty and smart and she made me feel smart. She made me feel special. So then one day after I'd aced a test I asked her out. And you know what she did? Casey laughed in my face and said she'd never date someone like me. I thought we had a connection and she told me she was just being nice because it was part of her job.

"So I went home that night and I took one of my anti depressants. My mom had got me them to try and help me. They never worked for me so I took another and then for fun I took a few more."

"Jim," Lucas mumbled but didn't really know what to say. "I'm sorry."

Jimmy watched as sadness and shock traced over Lucas's face and he watched how the pretty cheerleader shed her tears for him.

"Casey didn't even notice I was missing from school. Neither did any of my so called friends. I came back to school and it was as if I had never been away. Everything was exactly the same."

Jimmy looked into the teary eyes of his friend and then at the girl who believed she was misunderstood. "Do you know what it's like to know that you wouldn't even be missed if you were to never come back to this place?"

---x---

Haley sat beside Nathan and Brooke Davies and felt a frightening sense of irony that now as their close friends were trapped in the school they now shared a common bond. They had heard the hushed rumours filter from the mouths of police officials and then to their peers of who was responsible. They all feared Jimmy; a boy that none of them had truly known or understood he was now holding their friends hostage.

Brooke wore a dire expression as she silently fretted of the safety of her friend and no words of comfort from Nathan or her fellow cheerleaders would silence her dark thoughts.

Nathan's eyes turned into the direction of the doors as he saw his father finally walk through into the school to take Nathan home. Dan Scott's stride was slow and deliberate as he approached with confidence.

"You ok son?" Dan's keen eye assessed that Nathan was fine before continuing. "A kid came into the school with a gun?"

It was as unbelievable to Dan as it was to any other parent though perhaps he was more capable of understanding the evils a man could act upon when pushed to his limits. He had taught Nathan at an early age to be ruthless and to fight for what he wanted and to "defeat" any opposition along the way.

"Yeah Jimmy Edwards," Nathan replied back shakily. "And Lucas is inside there too."

A shadow of fear and concern spread immediately across the face of Dan Scott before it disappeared just as quickly to be replaced by decisiveness. "Wait here, I'm going to talk to the police."

Nathan nodded back but Haley thought she detected the traces of sadness across his perfect face. Nathan wanted to be _seen_ in the eyes of his father and yet so many times he was simply overlooked.

"I'm glad you're ok son," Dan added as an afterthought before pacing into action.

"Are you ok?" Haley ventured to Nathan as they watched Dan Scott walk over to the police chief. She felt bad for him; during their tutoring sessions Nathan would confide to Haley exactly what a powerful and damaging hold his father had over him. Nathan didn't want to be a disappointment in his father's eyes.

"I just feel so helpless," Nathan uttered with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'm just not used to feeling like this. I just wish there was more I could do."

"With Peyton?" Haley enquired. She was mildly surprised that even though Nathan had just been talking with his father his mind had flicked back to the welfare of his girlfriend in a split second.

"I didn't worry about her enough when we were together," Nathan stated with a deep sigh. "And now I can't stop worrying and there's nothing I can do."

Haley smiled just a little. It was no secret that Nathan and Peyton had a rocky relationship or that they had just broken up. And it was no longer a secret that Haley liked Nathan. Thanks to the unveiling of the time capsule not many secrets remained hidden. But one secret that was well hidden was that Nathan undoubtedly cared about his ex girlfriend. Haley didn't know whether to feel slightly disappointed over that fact or happy that once again Nathan had showed her a softer side that he kept so hidden from everyone around him.

Haley's gaze followed Nathan as he went to sit down beside Brooke who had been watching them with a keen eye. Brooke gave her a look of warning as she protected her best friend's territory. Haley quickly averted her eyes as she felt her embarrassment rise.

"Peyton will be ok," she promised Nathan gently and hoped her voice was strong enough to convey that fact. "I know Lucas. She's in good hands."

The dark haired brother offered a small nod before mumbling that he should go and Haley could only watch as Nathan shuffled back over to the cheerleader captain.

Haley turned to watch as Karen gathered with Larry Sawyer and Sergeant Peter Coloma, Marcus's father; as they were all told that their children were trapped in the school with the shooter. The parents were now living their worst nightmares. Their children were in danger and all they could do was wait and hope.

Haley bit back her tears as she watched Karen, normally so calm and collected, break down.

Jimmy Edwards.

Those two words; the name was now uttered in a mixture of disbelief and fear.

---x---

"Jim," Lucas finally spoke again lifting his weary head from its resting place against the book stacks. After Jimmy's revelation silence had swept in and hung over them in a cold haze. Lucas wanted to help Jimmy, he really did, but in order to do that Jimmy had to give himself up. "I'm sorry I really am that I wasn't there. But I am now and it doesn't have to be that way for you anymore. It doesn't have to be like this."

"Oh I think it does," Jimmy lifted the gun once again. The secrets were out now but they didn't change anything.

"It's not too late Jim. We can walk out of those doors together. It can be ok again."

"I'm not like you Lucas," Jimmy spat bitterly. "Everything does not work out for me like that. I can't just like a girl. Tell her that I like her and get her. Not like you!" His gun hand angled towards Peyton in emphasis. "It's not that way for me."

Peyton normally flinched whenever Jimmy pointed the gun at them but this time she didn't. Lucas chanced a look at her and didn't like what he saw. It wasn't really her as her body became limp in his hold and she finally gave in.

Lucas shook her firmly by the arm as he tried to keep himself together. "Peyton....come on....wake up."

"What's wrong with her?" Jimmy knew full well how bad the situation was. Panic rose and churned within him. He hadn't meant to hurt her; he hadn't meant to hurt anyone. He had just wanted it all to stop; he had just wanted to feel in charge of his life if only for one fleeting moment.

"Jim you need to let her go," Lucas pleaded this time as Peyton's head rested heavily against his chest. Lucas's hand circled around her tiny wrist as he felt her pulse that was barely there. He'd promised to get her out of this and had every intention of keeping his word. Without even thinking Lucas gathered her into his arms and lifted her from the floor.

"Sit down Luke!" Jimmy's warning came out as shrill as he watched Lucas stand up with the girl cradled against him.

Lucas faltered for just a second as the barrel of the gun was focused on him once again.

"She's dying Jim. I know you don't want to hurt her. I know you don't want this."

Peyton's head rested onto Lucas's shoulder and Jimmy looked at her. Her lips were almost blue and her skin was pale from blood loss. He knew Lucas was right; she was dying.

"I just wanted them to like me," Jimmy's voice was high and desperate and his gun hand shuddered.

The outside world would label him a monster but Jimmy Edwards made a firm decision to let her go.

---x---

_We all make our own choice of how we act in a terrifying situation; when we feel overwhelmed and threatened we can either run from it or we can fight back....It's in these choices we learn who we truly are and what really lies buried just beneath our skins and our consciousness......._

Marcus Coloma walked through the abandoned corridors as anger pulsed through him fuelling his every action and every decision he made. Everything had changed in the time it took to take a breath. Their world, their certainty had been shattered and torn from them in one split second. Their world of established comfort lay outstretched and frozen in this never ending day.

The school wasn't safe anymore and no one would feel safe walking down these corridors for a very long time. Jimmy Edwards' choice had ignited that feeling of unease.

Marcus had been there in the corridor as Jimmy fired his gun. Now as Marcus surveyed the books strewn in his path he relived the shocking screams and the chaos that followed Jimmy's shot. In the present silence all he could do was relive that scene over and over in his mind. He didn't like this and he would be the one to stop it.

Marcus now stepped to the very spot where blood had been spilled. He now knew that someone had been hurt by Jimmy Edwards' misjudged actions. He felt anger course through his veins as he remembered all he had been taught by his own father, the military sergeant.

"_Our world is what we make of it and if someone tries to take that away then you fight back. Don't be a victim son. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like a victim."_

Marcus walked with determination as he crept into the school library and made his way carefully through all the discarded furniture; he didn't think he just acted. He saw Jimmy. He saw the gun. He saw Jimmy's hostages. The unlikely basketball star held the limp body of Jimmy's victim. Marcus moved quickly and quietly and pulled the trigger of the gun his father had given him to make him feel safe in an unsafe world. He pulled the trigger of his own gun before anyone had the time to react.

All eyes and shocked expressions were on Marcus Coloma as the metallic click of the trigger sounded and helplessness reigned.

The gun sounded and the world stopped once again that day.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note – Thanks so much guys for all your kind words in your reviews and PMs for this story.

I want to say a big thank you to Cristal (**Little Green Bird**) for proofing this chapter for me. I'm still crazily busy and this chapter wouldn't have been posted this week without her. You've really helped me out and it's very much appreciated.

I also need to say a big thank you to both Sarah and Mel who constantly trouble shoot with me and listen to my ideas and over active imagination.

All that's left to say is enjoy!

Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 4 – God Bless the Child

_I remember a time of innocence. When I didn't know of bad things, they didn't happen in my world. Innocence was a way of life; innocence cradled me softly, concealing me from so much. Now innocence is something I see shining through the eyes of a child but it is something I lost. _

_Innocence is a tender purity that we hope so furiously we will be able to preserve for an eternity. But we cannot......_

Lucas stood frozen in shock with Peyton's unconscious body cradled tightly against him as Jimmy finally lowered his gun. Both of them now acknowledged she was dying and they had a choice to make. Lucas swallowed hard. He couldn't back down and he took an unsteady step forward.

"Go," Jimmy's face was clouded in desperation but he spoke with the compassion that Lucas had always known he had within him.

Lucas hesitated but only for a split second; he had a promise to keep. The words of gratitude hadn't even formed at his lips as another person who wasn't supposed to be in that building, on that day, appeared from behind the stacks.

Lucas's face fell as he saw the frightening image of the barrel of Marcus Coloma's gun; the barrel was pointed with purpose. Marcus's fingers traced delicately over the trigger as he pulled it back. But even more menacing and disturbing was the look in his eyes. They held the darkness of revenge; the need to regain control of a world spiralling rapidly into uncertainty.

"No," thundered from Lucas's mouth as he leapt forward. There was nothing that he could do.

The gun was fired with a deafening bang. Jimmy's sad eyes were shadowed now with a silent plea. His body jolted as the bullet connected and he fell hard; Jimmy's desperate plight now was silenced by the actions of a vigilante.

"What did you do?" Lucas murmured as his eyes travelled down to Jimmy's body sprawled on the floor in front of them. Lucas's knees almost buckled at the sickening sight of his friend's blood flowing from his torso and staining the greying carpet beneath him.

Marcus stood in the open with his jaw clenched tightly and he placed the gun back inside his jacket. Lucas didn't think he would ever be able to forget the look in Marcus's unblinking dark eyes. The eyes held a sinister satisfaction of what he now knew he was capable of.

"Go," Marcus repeated Jimmy's instruction in a calm decided manner.

Lucas moved from the library not truly aware of his movements and decisions any longer. He navigated the books and bags strewn across the floor holding Peyton closely to him as his breaths caught painfully in his throat. He was soon stepping outside into the brightness and hope of an unforgiving town. Guns from every available police official were pointed in his direction as he exited the school. He held a baited breath and walked down the stone steps towards the men that now descended upon him with their guns directed at him.

A SWAT team member rapidly pried Peyton's weakening form from his arms in order to get her medical help. Lucas was forced face down onto the cold concrete and he could only watch as Peyton was carried away. He bit hard against the tears that coursed in pitiless trails down his cheeks. He was then pulled back up onto his unsteady feet as it was rendered he was not a threat.

"What's your name son?" the police captain enquired of him.

"Lucas....Lucas Scott," he struggled for air and his fears overwhelmed him. "Jimmy Edwards was shot. I think he's....he's...."

The police captain stared gravely at him before radioing his instructions. The SWAT team rapidly ascended upon the building.

Lucas was shortly enveloped by his mother as she sobbed profusely and she whispered, "I thought I'd lost you. I couldn't bear to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere mom," he spoke to her in a voice wracked with emotion. There had been so many times when he had feared that he would never see the kind eyes of his doting mother or the bright cheeky smile of Haley James. Haley hugged him; their argument instantly forgiven and forgotten as both of the teenagers worked hard not to break down and cry.

As he stood with his mother and best friend Lucas watched as Jimmy was carried away on a stretcher and then Marcus Coloma was escorted to a nearby police cruiser in hand cuffs. Marcus's dark orbs locked with Lucas's wide crystal blues. Marcus still remained totally unfazed by his actions and Jimmy's condition.

_.....How did this become our way? Our safe and secure little world is now a world capable of such evils and lays outstretched before our own eyes blanketed in darkness. This we did not see coming but now we cannot escape from it. __**We**__ helped create this world despite our deepest denials, and only __**we **__can be held responsible .We are surrounded by darkness and now must face the cruelties of what we ourselves made......._

Hours later and Lucas stood in front of the faucet in the men's bathroom for a few sacred moments of quiet reflection. He braced himself up right for fear that he wouldn't be able to stand unaided. His knees hadn't stopped trembling since he had walked from the school four and a half hours ago. For a day that had been changed and altered in a split second it had now become an endless blend of waiting and questions. He'd endured all consuming bouts of questioning as Jimmy was now in intensive care and the doctors were not sure of his chances of survival. Marcus Coloma was being held in police custody but firmly insisted Jimmy had wanted to end the lives of his two hostages.

The teenage boy bent over the faucet and turned on the tap with a sharp creak and watched as the water flowed. He brought his hands under the water; not caring for the liquid's steaming temperature. _Her_ blood was the only thing he focused upon as it traced its way from his finger tips and onto the white porcelain. He lathered the pink soap the hospital supplied onto his shaking hands and scrubbed harshly as he held back the tears and hopelessness that threatened to break him. He furiously worked his hands clean as he tried to wipe away the memories that danced behind his eye lids. He could wash away the blood but he couldn't wash away that day.

The water in the sink ran clear now and his hands were clean of all traces of her. For a moment he was immersed in the memory of holding the limp body of Peyton Sawyer as he carried her out of the school. She was now in surgery, he had been informed, as complications developed. He'd promised to protect her; he'd promised to do everything he could to get her out alive and back to her father.

He bit his lip as he stared at the shadowed reflection in the mirror in front of him. He didn't recognise who he had become any more.

"_You're a hero Luke." The words left Haley's mouth so easily and they stung at Lucas's heart. Haley had embraced him and had clung on to the familiarity of their friendship. "You're a hero."_

To him he was anything but a hero. His mind was burdened by the fact that both Peyton and Jimmy were in critical condition and he held himself responsible.

---x---

Lucas moved slowly from the men's bathroom and looked to the waiting area where his mother, Haley and his father and Deb Scott all sat huddled and remained hopeful of some sort of positive development to the day. Lucas turned purposely on his heel and set off down the corridors. He didn't think he could take any more of people believing he was a hero. He found himself walking towards his own brother; the one person who wouldn't label him a hero. Nathan Scott would surely give him the sharp shot of reality that he now so desperately needed.

Nathan sat slumped in the darkened corridors staring into an unoccupied space. His head was bowed low and heavy and if he knew Lucas was coming he didn't let on to the fact.

"Hey," Lucas murmured as he sank down onto the shiny hospital floor next to his younger brother.

"She's still in surgery," Nathan informed him not even bothering to look at him.

Lucas nodded sadly as he rested his weary head against the hard wall and stared up at the blinding fluorescent lights.

"What's taking them so long?" Nathan asked with a long sigh.

"I don't know," the blonde Scott brother answered.

Lucas searched his mind as he wanted to offer Nathan some sort of comfort in this bleak hour. He idly remembered when he was only six years old and his beloved dog Rocket had been taken to the local vets after being hit by a neighbour's bicycle. Lucas had cried as he sat with his mother and his uncle Keith as they waited to hear if his pet would be alright. He hadn't been able to understand why it was taking so long. His mother had silenced his sobs and his worry by telling him that _no news was good news_. Her words had brought him both wisdom and comfort. Her judgements had proven true once again as Rocket returned to him.

"No news is good news," Lucas found himself repeating aloud.

Nathan just shrugged his shoulders and stared hard down at the floor.

"You're really worried about her?" Lucas enquired with traces of surprise betraying his thought and intention.

"That surprises you?" Nathan asked coldly.

"I..." Lucas didn't know what to say.

"Today made me realise I really care about her." Nathan told him as he looked at him for the first time during their exchange. "I miss her."

The image of sweet lips and the sensation of true perfection hit Lucas as he remembered what he and Peyton had secretly done in that library. He felt the guilt edging its way through his soul as he stared into his brother's eyes.

When Lucas failed to speak again Nathan pulled himself to his feet. He brushed off his revelation and his vulnerability before he spoke, "I should go find my dad. See you around. _Hero_."

---x---

Peyton was out of surgery. The message was relayed through his best friend and Lucas could finally breathe a sigh of relief and the aching worry in the pit of his stomach suppressed into nothingness. Lucas sank down onto a nearby chair and placed his weary head into his hands.

"Come on," Karen said lightly then as she placed a hand to his shoulder. "Let's get you home. You're exhausted." She had let him stay whilst he had needed to know that Peyton was going to be fine but now she needed to look after her own son's welfare.

"No," Lucas shook his head decisively. He couldn't go; not yet.

"You need to get some rest," his mother persisted.

"I won't be able to sleep," he murmured back his reply as he pulled himself back up from the seat.

"Well you should at least go home shower and change your clothes," Karen ventured then. "I can fix you some breakfast. You need to keep your strength up."

Lucas shook his head at her suggestions. He knew his mom was just trying to be a good mother to him but right now that was not what he needed. He had seen too much and that was not going to go away no matter how much Karen tried to protect him. Lucas needed to find comfort in the knowledge that he could be close to the only other person who had seen the same horrors as he had experienced. He needed to see her.

"I'll see you at home," Lucas murmured before shuffling along the corridors.

Lucas found his way unconsciously to her corner room. He stared at the tender scene of the father watching over his child as she lay lost to sleep. He felt a slight smile and a glimmer of hope spread through him as he finally he knew at least he had done that right. He had kept his promise to her. Peyton was out of that school and healing. She and her father were back together and could go on with their life together.

His eyes idly trailed over the delicate profile he knew only too well. He took in the golden curls against the stark white pillow. His heart tightened at the sight of the hospital equipment monitoring and bleeping at her recovery process.

"Lucas Scott?" the voice rang out and captured Lucas's attention. Larry Sawyer rose up from his chair and moved quietly towards the door. "It is Lucas Scott right?" He asked as he studied the boy's bewildered face.

"Yes sir," Lucas said with a tentative nod. "I am Lucas Scott."

"So I guess it's you I should be thanking for saving my little girl," Larry held out his hand for Lucas to shake. "Thank you. Thank you so very much." The tall man who resembled Peyton's own tall lanky frame almost broke with emotion and gratitude.

"You're welcome." Lucas offered a sincere smile as he shook the father's hand. "I'm just glad she's going to be ok."

"You know she talks about you," Larry offered. In truth Peyton supplied him with little detail on her life whilst he was away at sea, so the fact that Peyton had mentioned Lucas Scott showed just how much this boy must mean to his daughter. Larry had never cared too much for Nathan; finding his treatment of his little girl unacceptable and concerning. In his fatherly opinion Nathan was too much like Dan Scott and Dan was not a person Larry had ever liked or respected.

"You're a hero son," Lucas felt the words penetrate his core once again. He didn't believe he would truly live up to that label. Jimmy Edwards was in the Intensive Care unit while Peyton lay in her hospital bed looking pale and vulnerable.

"I should go," Lucas murmured then, excusing himself and making for the door hastily.

"Lucas," the man called after him and the teenage boy turned around to face him. "I'm sure Peyton would like to see you and thank you when she's awake?"

Lucas nodded at the extended invitation before he moved from the room. He walked rapidly from the hospital and outside into the cold and cleansing rain. He lifted his face to the dark skies as the drops washed away at least some of the day and shocked him into the present.

---x---

"Lucas," Peyton slurred stirring herself from a muddled and fitful sleep. Her head was foggy and her eye lids heavy from the medication she had been given.

"Peyton?" her father was out of the plastic chair and at her side in an instant. He brought his fingers to her forehead as her gaze finally met his. He gathered her small hand into his own and bent to place a kiss at her temple in a vain attempt to shelter her from reality. Larry silently prayed to the heavens; thanking them for letting him keep one of the precious girls in his life and sparing him from reliving _that nightmare_ all over again.

Peyton felt exhausted and numb as she took in her surroundings. Her mind blurred as she saw the machines bleeping beside her and felt the stiffness of the bed she lay upon. She was in the place she had tried so very hard to forget. The smell she remembered all too well; the cold clinical smell of disinfectant and sickness assaulted her senses.

"I want to go home," she murmured despondently now. She jerked in the bed as she tried unsuccessfully to sit up.

"Shh you need to rest," Larry stroked back her hair as he attempted to get her to settle down. The doctors had told him that she wasn't out of the woods just yet, that she was still weak. It was his fatherly duty to protect her; in a way that he hadn't been able to do earlier that day.

"Lucas? Where's Lucas?" Peyton repeated in a more demanding voice and she sat up straight. She wouldn't let the matter rest. She had to know that her saviour was alright. That he had made it out of the school unharmed after doing everything he could to protect her.

"Lucas is fine sweetheart," her father assured her.

"Where is he?" Peyton persisted. She remembered Jimmy, the library and the gun. She didn't remember anything after that. Her thoughts were jumbled with her medicated dreams and her head's reliving every possible fear and fate that she had been able to imagine.

"Peyton," Larry tried to capture his daughter's attention in effort to calm her. "Lucas is fine. He carried you out of the school."

"I'll get a doctor," Peyton's panic was disrupted and her eyes darted to the direction from which she had heard that all too familiar voice. Nathan stood uncomfortably at the door as he spoke. She hadn't known that he was there; she hadn't known that he cared enough to be there.

"Thank you Nathan," Larry said sincerely to the boy.

Nathan tried to ignore all the insecurities and the jealousies that stirred in dizzying waves within him.

"I'm glad you're ok Peyton," Nathan looked directly at her; his face was sincere but the tone of his voice cut through her hard and left her with the bitter taste of guilt.

Nathan bit his lip hard before he exited Peyton's hospital room and Larry Sawyer settled her back into bed.

"You need to rest honey," Larry repeated. "You've just come out of surgery."

Peyton begrudgingly lay back on the hospital bed watching as her father pulled the covers back over her.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked and she merely shook her head. Peyton stared up at the tiled ceiling and tried to ignore the fright welling within her core.

"Daddy," Peyton uttered in a small childlike voice and her green eyes glittered. "I was so scared."

"Oh sweetheart," Larry uttered as he held her tightly. He didn't know what else to do but pull his daughter into his arms and try to conceal her from the harshness of the world. He held her like he had wanted to do since he had received that call earlier. He couldn't remember seeing Peyton cry like this since she had lost her mother. She had become so strong and fiercely independent at such an early age. Now however she wept like a little girl clinging onto him as though she was clinging onto her lost innocence.

Larry didn't know what to do to make it better. He held onto her feeling as though he had failed her. It was his job to protect his baby girl and he hadn't been able to do that when she had lost her mother or even now.

_Throughout our lives we scrabble for some sense of control or stability; for a certainty in an uncertain world. We struggle for a power and a conviction in what we know; in what we believe will always be there. We cannot undo what has been done to us and what has been taken away. But when innocence is taken away; pulled from us and fractured; how will we then act? Will we try to reclaim this lost gift; this innocence? Or will we break away from it in search of something new?_


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note – Hey guys. So I need to apologise for taking so long to update this story! I feel horrible for leaving you all hanging for this long. I've had a really busy and hectic end of school year and have had a lot going on in my personal life. But I am really sorry.

I will never abandon my stories. Hopefully with my time off this summer I can really knuckle down and update a lot more often than I have been doing.

Thanks to Mel and Sarah for their help. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter.

Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 5 – Weight of the World

_Lucas walks up to familiar concrete steps. Tree Hill High comes into his view. He shields his eyes against the blinding morning. He's walked these same steps, every day, for the past two years. He knows where the cracks are and he moves to avoid them. _

_The sun beats down upon his crumpled brow. He listens to the distant murmur of cheering. He turns his head towards the quad. He sees them, blue outfits and smiling faces. Though the cheerleaders' voices seem far away, muted. He can barely hear them, but the day is quiet and peaceful._

_He cannot hear them over the rapid beating of his heart. And each step he takes seems to thunder in his ears._

_He feels strange. Anxious._

_Fear seems to be seeping through him._

_With the brightness of the day and the soft breeze playing against his skin, he knows he should have nothing to worry about. But uneasiness dances in the pit of his stomach. _

_Faces turn to look at him as he makes it onto school grounds. He knows so many people are counting on him now. He feels responsibility pulling him down in ways it shouldn't. Not yet. He's still just a boy._

_The girls chanting picks up, he can hear their voices clearly now. Their cheers thunder in his ears and he grips his school bag tightly with his fist._

"_What does that spell? HERO!"_

_They are cheering for him. For the boy that became a hero in the time it takes to fire a gun._

_The cheer captain beams at him. She skips over to where he is standing. There's a smile playing on her lips. Her eyes are wide with admiration for him. To her, the boy she had always dismissed in the past is now a hero._

_The boy is someone to be celebrated and recognised._

"_Did you feel it?" she whispers. Her brown eyes twinkle with knowing and wonderment._

"_Feel what?" he chokes out. He suddenly feels even more uncomfortable within his own skin._

"_Did you feel it change?" _

_The last word passes her lips as barely a whisper. But it unsettles him greatly._

"_Feel what change?" He shakes his head. He doesn't understand her meaning. But he feels the overwhelming sense of numbness spreading through him. _

"_Everything," she states so carelessly. "I mean how many moments in life can you point to and say, 'That's when it all changed?'"_

_He swallows down his fears. He thinks he knows what the pretty girl means but he doesn't want to._

_With a flirtatious wink and a flick of her glossy hair, she saunters off back to her squad. She blends into the sea of blue and black and the girls continue with their chant._

_He stands there grasping at the strap of his school bag. He feels a chill spread through him despite the warmth shining down upon him._

"_Go Lucas." The cheering reaches the climax of its dance._

_He hears the bell and turns back towards his destination. As his shoes tap against the concrete he becomes aware that the chants have stopped. So has the chatter from his peers._

_There is no rushing of everyone trying to get to class._

_The boy tries to bit back on his uncertainty as the sense of déjà vu overcomes him. _

_He hears a deafening shot. Fright and alarm spark through him, demanding him to move into action. To do something. _

_He feels helpless._

_He can't move._

_He can't move because of the weight holding him to that very spot._

_He looks down at the lifeless body in his arms. His cry fails to sound as his eyes capture the pale and almost translucent flesh of her cheek. Her eyes are closed; her head rests heavily against his chest._

_He is vaguely aware of his descent down the steps now. His eyes never leaving the vacant profile of the girl that he should have saved._

_She is pried roughly from him. His arms fall weightlessly at his sides._

_He can't even speak her name as the black body bag is zipped up, concealing her from him. Her stretcher is placed into the back of the ambulance. The sharp slamming of the doors being shut causes him to jump._

"_There was nothing more you could do son," Dan Scott says, giving him a brief pat on the back._

_Dan walks away with his other son. The young dark haired boy turns and gives a sad, mournful smile._

_Now alone, the boy finally looks down at his bloodied hands and lets out a terrified cry._

Lucas's eyes snapped open as he let out a shriek that was muffled only by his pillows. His body jolted up sharply from its resting place amongst his tangled sheets. He stared into the colourful nothingness of his room. Lucas took several deep breaths, attempting to calm himself while his heart pelted painfully against his ribcage.

He tried to focus on anything other than the images of her.

He was safe. It was over now.

He lay back against the clammy bedding. He pressed his stinging eyelids shut against the blinding whiteness of his ceiling. It was just a dream.

His legs were encased tightly in his tangled bed covers and he knew he had been moving fitfully whilst lost in his nightmares again. He relieved _that day_ each and every time he closed his eyes.

A determined knock sounded at the door, and Lucas focused his gaze upon it whilst still dazed.

"Lucas?" Karen called from the outside of the room with another rap against the wood to try and get his attention. "Lucas?"

"I'm ok mom," he replied weakly, so weakly that he heard his mother call his name once again with a harder, more urgent knock.

"I'm ok," he repeated brushing a hand over his moist brow. "I'm ok."

"Are you sure?" came his mother's response.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He wasn't fine. He was far from fine, as he grappled on with life after the Tree Hill High shooting. It had been eight days since that tragic day and Lucas hadn't even begun to come to terms with it. He had closed himself off from everyone for fear of breaking down or shouting or just losing whatever shred of assurance he had within him that still held him together.

"I'm making breakfast. French toast." His mother called through the barrier. She was trying to be positive and supportive for him, and he both loved and hated her for it. "Your favourite."

Lucas rested his head against his crumpled pillow. The last thing he wanted to do was face the world that had been spinning on outside his four walls.

He let his eyes travel to the discarded books and papers littered upon his desk. He'd been trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to distract his haunted mind for the past few unrelenting days. He sucked in a breath as he admitted to himself that he couldn't face another day alone staring up at the blanched ceiling. He knew that being coped up and isolated wasn't doing him any good.

He sucked in a baited breath. "I'll be down in a minute."

After taking a searing, hot shower and getting dressed, Lucas pushed through his wooden door and stepped into the kitchen. He dropped his school bag down onto the only unoccupied seat as both Keith and Haley had joined them for breakfast. Both had come to visit him every day, out of concern for him and support for Karen. But he hadn't had the strength to see them, he hadn't spoken to them in a week.

"Hey," he croaked as all faces turned to him.

"Luke." Haley moved up from her seat and threw her arms around his neck and he gave her a little squeeze. She was so glad to see him and he found comfort in that.

Haley gave a small smile before sitting back down and cradling a hot mug of coffee in her hands. She may have been smiling but her hazel eyes twinkled with a hint of concern for her best friend. And she couldn't hide that little crease in her brow or the pout in her lips that told Lucas she was worried but trying not to be.

His uncle Keith broke away from his food to give his nephew a light hug and a pat on the back. Keith was the closest thing Lucas really had to a father figure and the look in his uncle's eyes said all that was needed to be said.

"It's good to see you up and about Luke. I was kinda giving up on you there. I thought I was going to have to haul your ass out of bed with the tow truck," he joked trying to lighten the atmosphere. Haley chuckled and Lucas smiled idly.

"Lucas, your breakfast is ready." Karen flashed a protective look at her son.

"Come and sit down," Keith requested as he pulled up in his seat once again and motioned for Lucas to sit beside him. Lucas did and grinned slightly as his uncle squeezed him on the shoulder. "It's really good to have you back."

"I'll second that," Haley chimed, smiling from over the depths of her mug. "It's great to have you back. I've missed you, you goof."

Lucas managed a smile as he settled into his place and he helped himself to a steaming cup of black coffee.

"So how are you feeling?" Haley asked as gently as she could.

"I'm ok."

The little brunette nodded at his short answer. They'd been friends since as long as both of them could remember, Haley knew that Lucas would talk when he was ready.

"So what are you reading?" Lucas's index finger pointed in the direction of the newspaper Keith had just discarded.

"Nothing, it's just the usual trash." His uncle picked up the paper and folded it over to conceal the headlines but Lucas caught a glimpse of the story that had captured the front page. Marcus Coloma's name was printed in big black letters.

"What's going to happen to him?" Lucas asked curiously. "Marcus?"

"Well," Keith began uncertainly. "It depends on whether Jimmy Edwards pulls through."

"How is Jimmy?" Lucas heard his mother's loud sigh from over his shoulder. But he needed to know. It mattered to him after everything that had happened.

"He's still in intensive care," Haley ventured as lightly as possible. "The doctors are waiting for him to wake up."

"And Peyton?" He still couldn't shake that dream and its images from his mind.

"The doctors say she's going to be alright. I spoke to her father the other day and she's doing a lot better." Karen moved over from the stove to dish his French toast onto his plate in front of him. "Let's talk about something else shall we."

Karen sat down at the table as the other three stared down at their food and suddenly found they each hadn't got an appetite anymore.

"I only wish I could have been there," Keith muttered under his breath. "I should have been there."

Karen's eyes locked with Keith for a long, hushed moment. It was bad enough that she'd almost lost one person that was so important to her without Keith needing to play the hero also. Keith let out a low sigh and picked up his plate and moved to the sink. Karen's gaze turned back toward her boy.

"And where do you think you are off too?" Her voice rang with alarm as she noted his backpack slung over the chair beside him.

"School," Lucas offered. He lowered his eyes towards his food, but his breakfast was still unappetising.

He tried his best to ignore the worried look that played on his mother's face. The look portrayed her motherly concerns, and served as a painful reminder that he wasn't handling things as well as he would have liked. He disregarded the surprised look from Haley; he stared down firmly at the table, toying with his fork.

"Are you sure you're ready for that?" Karen asked when no one around the table spoke another word. She slept in the room adjacent to his; she had woken up in the middle of the night, each and every night to hear his screams and his desperation.

The question stung hard and Lucas set down the coffee mug. He bit back against his own self-doubt. It was several long ticking seconds before he murmured, "I have to go back sometime."

"Principal Turner said that you can take as much time as you need," Karen protested. "It's going to take time to heal Lucas."

Lucas shook his head. He needed to try and move on.

"I can't hide in my room forever mom. And I'm not going to." He grabbed his bag.

"I can drive you if you like," Keith offered graciously. He knew better than to argue with his nephew and Lucas was grateful for that much.

Karen's eyes shone with a glimmer of reassurance that her boy would at least be safe with his uncle. She turned her head towards Keith and nodded her head.

"Thanks but I could use the walk," Lucas pulled himself to his feet. "Are you coming Hales?"

With a tentative look towards Karen, Haley seemed to be waiting for some form of confirmation. The mother held up her hands in surrender.

"Yeah, ok I guess," Haley answered gathering up her things so she could follow him.

The back door slammed behind the disappearing teenagers and Karen let out a long sigh. She didn't like the idea of her baby boy going back into that school. Not yet.

"He'll be fine Karen." Keith tried to reassure her. He'd always been able to do so in the past. But she didn't think he could now, not when she felt so helpless.

She wanted to believe that everything would be safe and normal back inside that school. But she couldn't put faith in that either. Without uttering a word of reply, the worried mother left the kitchen.

-x-

The walk to school was shorter than Lucas remembered. He stared about the streets, not really taking in the comforting and all familiar grassy lawns and white fronted family home. His body felt over heated as he kept focused and alert for something to happen but he wasn't sure what.

He and Haley had fallen into a rhythmic step with one another. Haley chattered on idly as she attempted to fill him in on lessons he had missed. But he wasn't really listening. As he began to see more and more familiar faces from the school he felt that nagging doubt squirming in the pit of his stomach.

As they arrived at the school Lucas took in the true aftermath of Jimmy's siege. Students were clustered together at the main entrance as security guards checked their bags before they herded through the barriers. They all seemed so uncertain and tentative as they entered the building

Once inside Lucas walked down the crowded hall as he navigated to his locker. He stared down at the ground to avoid all the stares. The sensation of being under scrutiny by his fellow peers burned at his skin. He tried to ignore the whispers of both curiosity and admiration.

"Hey Luke." A girl in a cheer-leading uniform uttered as she passed him. She offered him a bright grin. Lucas offered a nervous smile but the cheerleader sashayed away from him and back to her friends.

His feet carried him forward and he caught Mouth McFadden standing mournfully at Jimmy Edwards' locker. They had all been such good friends during those days down at the River Court and Lucas knew he should offer his support but something stopped him. Mouth offered him a sad smile as he watched the blonde haired boy pass by.

Lucas made it to his own locker and mindlessly entered in his combination. His sight blurred as he glanced at the various books stacked up in the small locker space. He squinted his eyelids together as he tried to read the text. He felt dizzy and weak at the knees.

He backed away from the little blue door as he tried to calm his shallow breaths. He knocked straight into a boy from his History class. He offered a feeble apology and the boy smiled sympathetically.

Lucas's heart thudded loudly inside his ears as he heard the chatter and the banging of lockers and footsteps all around him. The collar of his jacket seemed to be choking him and he tugged at it with numb fingertips. The din of people's actions thundered through him and he tried to take a few deep breaths to try and calm himself.

He forced his eyes on the ground. He tried to block out all the shuffling figures around him. His gaze locked upon the boarded up door. He was standing in the very spot where she'd been shot. Images of his dream flooded back into his mind. He shouldn't be here.

He brought his hands up to cradle his head as he tried to forget the eerie quiet and the discarded possessions. He squeezed his eyelids close together as the room spun. In the darkness he could see the streaks of her blood across the shiny, tiled floor.

His body stiffened as he felt someone reach out to him.

"Luke," Haley's brow furrowed with concern and she reached out to touch his shoulder. He turned around sharply and she recoiled a little shocked. "Are you ok?"

He smiled weakly at her concern. "I just need to get out of here."

"Do you want me to come with you?" She offered even though they both know that Haley James has never cut a class in her life.

"No," he shook his head. "I just need to be alone."

Maybe it was too soon.

Haley held her breath as she rested her back up against the wall. She ignored the curious stares of her peers, as they watched her best friend race out of the locker area, before turning back to her.

-x-

"So how are you?" Haley asked as Nathan's pen scratched idly on his notebook. His attentions were elsewhere, and not on the Little Prince. But right now she couldn't really blame him. Lessons at the moment seemed more focused on reassuring all the students that they were safe rather than teaching them anything.

"I'm alright," he replied, totally unconvincingly.

Haley set the book shut and he turned his dark brown eyes to lock with her own.

"How's Peyton?" she asked then.

"She's fine…I guess."

"That sounds convincing."

"I think she's fine." Nathan's voice sounded a little hesitant now. "I don't really know. The doctors all say she's going to be fine. But it's not like she'll even talk to me."

"I'm sorry Nathan," Haley said honestly.

"Yeah. Me too."

Nathan chuckled slightly. He had no idea why he always found himself just opening up to his tutor Haley James. Their relationship, and he used that term a little loosely, given that she was a best friend to with his half brother, was supposed to be all business. Just business and nothing more. And yet he always found himself confessing his feelings and his secrets to the girl he'd always seen as just a bookish nerd. But he could talk to her. He didn't have any _girl_ friends; and in truth he didn't have any friends that he could talk about more serious things with. In his friendship circles it was all basketball and parties, and yet with Haley he found he could be more himself. It was completely different and he found that oddly comforting. And it didn't hurt that Haley was cute and smart either.

"Have you been to visit her?" Haley rested her elbows against the hard wood table and craned her head closer towards Nathan.

"Only on that day," he whispered as the librarian's eyes focused critically as his voice had risen to an unacceptable level. "And she wouldn't really talk to me. She's just mad at me."

"Because of Brooke?" she probed.

"I guess so," Nathan's brow furrowed. She'd heard the gossip. Everyone had after the release of the time capsule, but then that didn't surprise him given their small town. It bothered him that he worried that Haley may judge as a bad boy for cheating on his girlfriend. "I just want her to listen to me so I can explain things."

"Yeah," Haley gave a gentle smile at the boy she'd seen only as a jock for so long. "You should go see her."

"What?" He watched with surprise, as her hands were already busy packing away their things. "Now?"

"Yeah. Why not?" She said in a firm and determined voice. It wasn't like he was focused on his homework.

"I don't know Haley-"

"I can come with you if you like?"

"And why would you want to do that?" He doubted that his broody ex girlfriend and his tutor would have that much in common.

"Because," Haley flashed a smile as she passed him his backpack from off its place on the table. "You want to see her but are too stubborn and I, well, I want to go see Jimmy Edwards and make sure he's ok."

Nathan's eyes clouded at the mention of the shooter's name. That name was still only whispered and barely mentioned.

"He was our friend," the little brunette murmured in her defence. Her eyes were cast downward but something in her voice told him she was serious.

Nathan just nodded his reply and threw his heavy book bag over his shoulders. He didn't understand why she would want to see Jimmy but he found himself warming to the fact that this girl just didn't judge people. She was giving and kind and that was something that he just wasn't familiar with in his world.

"Let's go then." he pulled his car keys from the pocket of his Raven's jacket. Together with Haley they wove their way amongst the tables and out towards the parking lot.

-x-

Peyton hobbled unsteadily on her crutches across the shining white hospital floors. She was going home today and she and her father were both forced to wait for the discard papers to be signed. She had excused herself from Larry's fussing, telling him she wanted to go for some fresh air.

But instead she had come to stand outside Jimmy Edwards' room. The ward was quiet aside from the bustling of nurses at the station. She balanced against the metal support frame and stared through the glass of his small, quiet corner room.

She'd found herself coming to the Critical Care Unit ever since she'd had trouble sleeping at night. She didn't really know why; her father and friends had all referred to Jimmy as the bad, troubled boy who had almost taken her life.

But she knew better. That day in the library had shown her that much. She hadn't been able to get his sad, broken eyes out of her dreams.

Jimmy looked lonely. He looked pale and small, as he lay connected to wires and machines. He looked so scared and vulnerable, and she could relate to that.

Peyton had only seen his mother come to visit him since she'd been sneaking up her. She'd watched as his mother would hold his hand sometimes but she rarely ever spoke to him. Even Mrs Edwards seemed at a loss at what to say to his son, and she'd just sit on the plastic chair at his bedside.

She needed to know that Jimmy was going to be all right. He'd hurt her in the school but his words and his admissions still stuck painfully in her mind. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He'd been angry and afraid and it had all been one terrible accident.

"Peyton?"

His voice stirred her from her thoughts and Peyton tilted her gaze into his direction. She watched as Nathan approached with Haley James, who fell into step just slightly behind him.

Peyton eyed the girl curiously; this was the bookish girl who had agreed reluctantly to tutor her failing boyfriend. The girl who had admitted on the time capsule that she liked the basketball star. Haley looped her loose chestnut hair behind her ear and stared down at her sneakers.

"Oh hey," Peyton murmured back. She had done her best to limit contact with Nathan. She didn't really know what to say to him. It wasn't that she was mad at him, she really wasn't. She had felt so hurt and embarrassed when she'd learned of his betrayal. She'd felt so angry with him and her best friend. She realised she didn't care anymore.

The whole revelation just seemed so trivial now. It had happened and it was out there. She was too tired to be mad at anyone. And she guessed being shot had forced her to realise how short life could be. How quickly and unexpectedly it could all be taken away. And hers and Nathan's relationship had never been perfect to begin with.

"How are you?" Nathan's gaze fell to Peyton's thickly bandaged leg as she balanced awkwardly on her crutches.

"I'm fine," she murmured uncomfortably as his dark eyes travelled quickly into Jimmy's direction before falling back to her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see how he was doing." She muttered her explanation as she kept her eyes focused anywhere other than with his own.

She didn't really know why she was here. Why when, in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep that she would come here. She guessed it was because when she'd been reliving the hell of that day in her feverish nightmares it was reassuring to know that he couldn't hurt her now. That he wasn't a monster to be feared.

"Why?" Her boyfriend's voice held no sympathy for the boy lying in the hospital bed. "He shot you. He could have killed you."

Peyton's body shuddered involuntarily at the very thought. She'd almost died; she was lucky to be alive. She knew it and so did everyone around her but that was the first time anyone had uttered those words aloud.

Haley James mercifully reached out a hand to touch at his arm in an effort to calm him.

"Nathan!"

At the sound of the brunette's voice chiming in, Nathan sucked in a breath as he collected himself. Peyton watched as Haley's small hand curled at Nathan's arm and how it lingered as she gently rubbed at the bicep of his shirt to calm him back down.

Nathan was soon moving away from Haley and he approached Peyton. "Whatever. Let's get you back to your room."

Peyton shook her curls, "No. I'm going home today. I'm just waiting for my dad to finish up with the paperwork."

Nathan's eyes dulled over immediately with a mixture of disappointment and surprise. She hadn't told him that. He'd been worried about her for days. He hadn't stopped thinking about her and she hadn't thought to call to let him know that she was able to go home.

His words and his irritations got caught up within him. He stared coldly at her. "Fine," he retorted. "Have it your way. And I guess I'll see you around." He turned on his heel and stomped away.

Peyton raised her eyes to watch his quickly retreating figure. She inwardly cursed herself for how that conversation had played out.

Haley stood awkwardly next to the popular and fiery cheerleader. "I guess I should go," she ventured meekly.

"How's Lucas?" Peyton heard herself ask the girl who she knew to be Lucas Scott's best friend. She knew she sounded scared and maybe a little desperate, but she didn't really care about keeping up her tough and capable facade.

"He's-," Haley's hazel eyes met the blonde's wide, concerned orbs. They had never been friends; they were from two totally different worlds. They were basically strangers. Well they had been until just a few days ago.

"He's doing ok I guess." It was the best that Haley could offer and she gave a small shrug.

Peyton nodded wordlessly. She knew right now that being and doing ok was just about as much as she, herself, could handle and expect right now.

Haley took in a deep breath as the silence and awkwardness filtered the air between them. " He cares about you, you know."

Peyton let those words wash over her. They offered her a sense of comfort that she hadn't felt in a long while.

"I should go and find my dad," she excused herself quickly.

"Yeah, sure. You need any help?" Haley offered the moody cheerleader who'd always dismissed her as a nerd.

"No, I got it." Peyton took a step forward on her crutches and bit back against those painful tingles at her knee. She limped a few of inches away before she turned back.

"Hey Haley-"

"Yeah?"

"Tell him-" Her sentence cut off with her confusion. He'd saved her life. She'd kissed him. They'd been through something so traumatic together and she had no idea how either of them were ever going to move past it. "Tell him, thank you."

Haley nodded that she would. She'd never have thought she'd see the day when Peyton Sawyer was thankful and grateful enough to admit.

-x-

"Here we are," Larry announced as he led an unsteady Peyton upstairs and along the corridor to her all-familiar bedroom.

Peyton set the crutches against the wall before her father's arms came to encircle her waist in order to help her into bed. It felt good to be home, amongst all her drawings and music. It was nice to focus upon her bright, colourful walls rather than the sterile white of the hospital room.

Larry pulled back her red comforter and the sheets. She watched as he fussed with her pillows, placing one down lower to support her injured leg. He'd listened to every word of the doctor's advice and he was determined to follow every step to the letter. She couldn't help but smile as she felt the first warm surge of assurance since she'd been shot.

Her dad's strong arms lifted her into bed like he'd always done when she was little. He busied himself pulling the sheets over her and Peyton couldn't help but feel secure for the first time since that hellish day.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked then. "A snack, a glass of water?"

Peyton shook her head. Her father was home and the softness of her own bed made her feel safe. She was both exhausted and content and wanted to fall to sleep at those very thoughts.

"An extra blanket?" He couldn't help but fuss. He just wanted her to be his baby girl again; he wanted to be someone she could count on.

"Daddy, I'm fine." She knew he worried and she loved him for that. She reached for his hand and told him firmly, "I'm just kind of tired."

The short car ride over from the hospital and the few shaking, painful steps she had taken on the way up to her room were enough to leave her feeling fatigued. The doctors had told them she would tire after the slightest activity as her body recovered. "I'm just going to take a nap."

Larry nodded as he stroked the blonde curls back from her forehead. "Ok sweetheart. Call me if you need anything."

"I will." Her eyelids felt so heavy as she felt her head against the fluffy pillow.

"I love you chicken." He needed to tell her that more often. He still found himself needing to mentally shake himself to the fact that she was alive and safe.

"I love you too daddy," her voice was husky with her need to sleep. She smiled in spite of herself at the nickname he'd been using for her since kindergarten. She remembered how, when her mother was still alive and both of her parents had called her by the term of affection. It was a nice thought to drift off to. She gave a little smile before she let her lashes press shut.

"Sleep well kiddo," Larry muttered gently under his breath as his daughter drifted off as soon as she'd closed her eyes. He moved quietly from the room and pulled the door slightly ajar behind him. Anna had always done that when Peyton was little so she could cross the hall to check on her.

Larry shuffled quietly down the hallway and down the stairs. His eyes scanned the photograph of his late wife and their then eight-year-old daughter. He smiled at Peyton's wide and toothy grin and Anna's beaming eyes. It was the last picture he'd taken of his two most precious girls before Anna was taken from him. It had been so quick and senseless and it had shattered the Sawyer's perfect and complete little family.

The doorbell stirred the father from his sad thoughts and Larry opened the door to see Lucas Scott. His daughter's rescuer was the last person he expected to see in the middle of the school day. But he smiled warmly nonetheless. This boy was the one person Larry felt the most gratitude towards.

The boy returned a shy look and shrugged his schoolbag higher onto his shoulder.

"Lucas? Is everything ok?" The tall, slim boy looked about as unsure and haunted as Peyton did at times.

"I went to the hospital," Lucas murmured his explanation. "They told me she'd been released."

"Yeah. Just this afternoon." Larry motioned for him to come inside. "She's resting right now but you welcome to come on in for a while." Even though Peyton was asleep right now he didn't have the heart to send this boy away, not when he'd saved his little girl.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I could use the company. I'll make us some tea," her father suggested.

With a nod, Lucas moved inside the Sawyer's home.

-x-

Peyton stirred awake from a light sleep. She had been so tired, but even though her head was still heavy from the effects of her medication she couldn't just switch off.

Back in the hospital she had craved to be alone and away from the nurses and her friends' stares of sympathy and those looks of helplessness. All she had wanted then was to be left alone in her room, which had always been so familiar and served as a haven away from the rest of a difficult journey of acceptance.

Her keen eyes flickered around her room, as they attempted to lock on to her sketchpad. In times of doubt, Peyton would reach for pen and paper. She would pour her confusion into something tangible, something recognisable and understandable (process able). But she couldn't see it, and with a low groan she threw of her comforter.

Before her leg had even connected with the floor her knee sparked with pain. She bit down hard on her lip as she reached for her nightstand to use it as leverage. Once she was standing, she took a few deep breaths; the simple act of just getting out of bed was an extraordinary effort now. She eased herself slowly, her arms reached forward grasping on to items of furniture to help her along.

By the time she'd reached her desk she was panting and exhausted. But she didn't care. Her fingers touched at the tidy piles of drawings that now sat on her desk. Her father had cleared up her room, her head thought logically. It shouldn't have been any big deal, but to her right now it was.

Tears stung at her eyes, blinding her vision as she searched for her black leather sketchpad. Brooke had bought it for her last Christmas, she thought irrationally. She needed to find it. But she didn't see it on her usual spot on the desk and she leant her palms heavily against the wooden surface as she rumbled inside the drawers. Her orbs continuously wondered to the pad's usual place to the right of her computer and she slammed the last drawer closed angrily.

Her newly purchased CDs were no longer stacked next to her keyboard ready to be uploaded onto her iPod.

She let out a piercing cry of frustration. Her room was not as she'd left it. She pushed back her messy curls from her moist cheek.

Everything was wrong.

As she went about her frantic search she didn't even hear his cautious footsteps. She wasn't aware that she was no longer the only one in the room, or that those bright blue eyes were watching her every more.

Lucas had been alerted to her activity as he'd heard the shuffling and the banging while he sat in the cosy little living room. Larry had headed out to take care of some urgent errand. Lucas hadn't wanted to go home so had asked if he could wait downstairs.

Lucas just stood in the doorway watching her furious assault upon her possessions. He wasn't sure what to do but as her breathing became laboured and she limped awkwardly he knew he had to do something.

"Peyton?" He moved towards her cautiously. He didn't want to startle her. He touched his hand to her shoulder gently and she didn't even bother to turn to acknowledge him.

"Everything's wrong." She shrugged off his hand as she continued to rifle through her things. She let out a pitiful sob as her search turned more desperate. "I need to fix it."

"Peyton! Stop!" His voice was more commanding and harsher than he thought he could muster.

Her green eyes stared back at him in a moment of unconscious terror. For a split second it seemed that they had never left the library. Her fingers uncurled themselves from their place amongst the littered items that now lay carelessly littered and discarded on her desk.

"Lucas?"

She really saw him now. She was alerted to his presence and she felt a certain sense of relief and comfort spreading through her.

She reached out, her hand grasped against the faded denim jacket he was wearing. Her fingers curled at the little front pocket. He'd saved her life. When she dreamed of that day over and over he was the only one to pull her through it.

"You're ok." His words were firm as he attempted to catch her full attention. His hands secured themselves upon her shaking shoulders.

She felt so foolish now. He'd seen her acting out. He'd seen her rambling frustrations and he probably thought she'd gone crazy. She wiped the stray tears from her cheeks with the sleeve of her bed shirt.

"What are you doing here?" She tried to casual around him. Given everything that they had experienced together she knew things would never be "normal" between them again. She attempted to revert back to form of whom she once was but she wanted him to stay more than perhaps she should.

"Your dad let me in." He felt those green eyes lock onto his face. "I wanted to see you- He just stepped out. But he'll be back soon."

The hint of a smile tingled at the corners of her lips. She hadn't felt the need to smile in days and yet with this sweet boy all of fears and doubts seemed to at least fade out if only for a little while.

"Maybe you should lay back down," he suggested.

"Yeah." She took a step forward gingerly, her hands still bracing herself upright as she used her desk for support. One movement and her leg caved in and she bit against a scream of agony.

Lucas's arms caught her and she moved in closer to use him for support.

"I've got you." He led her back over to the bed and helped her settle down onto the mattress. He stepped away then, feeling so aware that they were alone in her private space.

She sat up in the bed pulling the covers over the childish, pink pyjamas that her father had purchased for her stay in the hospital. Larry Sawyer had stopped truly knowing what a teenage girl would prefer to wear long ago. Especially his own teenage daughter who felt more comfortable in tiny shorts and a band tee.

But she hadn't really cared; that was until she was in her room alone with the boy she felt so drawn to. She self-consciously brought a hand to her face as tried to tame her wild curls.

"So how are you?" he asked. He hadn't stopped thinking about her; he hadn't been able to stop himself from worrying for her.

"I'm ok." She uttered the same response she did every time she heard that question. She didn't feel ok in the slightest but she tried to be as reassuring and certain in her reply as she possibly could. All she had wanted was to see him. But how as she looked at him she felt afraid. And she didn't really know what she was afraid of, which was even more unsettling.

Peyton shifted further back against her pillows and winced at the continuing pain stabbing at her knee. She guessed her pain medication was beginning to wear off.

"Are you sure? Do you need me to get your dad? Or I could just leave- if you wanted?" Lucas began to move back to the door. Over the past few days he had felt so lost and so uncertain. He felt as though he was losing control of himself and everything around him. He hadn't known how to make anything better or right again. Yet as he saw her he felt some semblance of clarity, some glimmer of hope and comfort.

"No. Don't," she stated with a determined shake of her tousled curls. She hadn't been able to take her mind off that day. Or him. She wanted him to stay. She needed him to stay. "Just talk to me. I just- I need to talk and maybe forget for a little bit. Please?"

As her long, delicate fingers patted at the red comforter beside her, Lucas couldn't help but feel the rush of both nervousness and excitement course through his veins. He'd watched her in this very room. He'd watched her every night on her web-cam for months and he'd felt like he'd known her. He believed that he understood that silent loneliness held within those emerald eyes and that he identified with her need to be seen for who she truly was.

He'd imagined her getting to know him, and letting him into her life so many times. But not like this. Not with her hurt and them both so afraid of the situation that had thrown them together.

"Ok," Lucas hesitantly lowered himself down beside her. She smiled gently and rested her back against her pillow but she said nothing.

"How's your leg?" he enquired needing to focus on something that would heal. "I mean is it going to be ok?"

"Yeah." She felt the pinches from the injured limb as she elevated it over the pile of pillows. "I'm going to be on crutches for a while and I need to do some physical therapy stuff but the doctors say it should be fine."

"That's good," Lucas replied with a simple nod and then fell quiet. There was so much that he had wanted to say to her. He had sat at home for days, watching the world go on around him and imagining what he would say to Peyton once they talked again. But now as he sat so close to her, to the girl he cared so much about, he forgot all of his practiced words.

"I'm really glad you're going to be ok." It was the truth and it was about as brave as he could bring himself to be right in that moment.

Peyton offered a little smile as she took in his words.

"Luke." Her voice was barely a whisper and the vulnerability it held brought his blue eyes to her green ones. "I never did thank you for taking care of me." She owed him her life and no words could express her gratitude. She could hardly fathom that day; or that she'd almost died. All she could place and recognise in her head was that this boy had saved her.

"Hey," he reached forward to hold her hand as her tears glittered at her large eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. "You don't have to thank me. I would never have left you."

The look in his gorgeous eyes held such conviction. She gazed at the kind expression fixed on his face. He cared about her, he really did. And she didn't even know why he cared for her when up until recently she'd ignored his existence.

Peyton felt her tears fall bitterly and inwardly hated herself for her lapse into weakness. Lucas slid closer to her tentatively before he enfolded her into his arms.

"God, I'm such a girl." Her voice rang out small, like the ping of a bell. She sniffed onto his shoulder and gripped onto his jacket.

He felt the tiny smile pull at his lips as she complained at her emotional flaws. The girl he'd always known put up this façade of being so tough, independent and capable. And yet right now she was the girl he saw late at night on her web-cam. The girl who was unsure, a little scared and reaching out for someone who may just notice her silent plea.

"It's ok," he muttered his reassurances.

Peyton buried her head deeper against the strong chest that held her so close.

She liked him so much more than she should. More than she'd allowed herself to like anyone before. She very rarely cried or let someone else hold her so close. She knew the last time she'd been in this state was with Brooke nearly one year on her mother's anniversary. She had never allowed herself to be like this with Nathan, she would have never thought about being so bare and so vulnerable in front of him.

Lucas held her close until her trembling stopped. She pulled away shyly and brushed her tears away with the back of her hand.

"So, um, have you been back to school?" she asked tentatively. She was dreading going back; she didn't want to be seen as the girl who'd fallen victim to Jimmy Edwards. She'd endured the whispers and the pitying stares before, after she'd lost her mother. She didn't want to be that girl everyone always talked about but didn't know what to say when they tried to talk to her.

"I tried." His brow furrowed in the centre. "I don't really know if I'm ready."

Peyton nodded. As much as she just wanted everything to go back to how it had always been she knew it was not that simple.

"It's just-" he swallowed before looking up into her eyes. "It's hard. People look at me as if I'm a hero. They look at me as a hero and yet I feel so lost."

She cast her eyes downwards. He'd saved her life and that was how she saw him too. He was a hero in her eyes too but she knew that day had left them both scrambling to move past it all and go back to normal.

"I've been having bad dreams," Peyton shrugged as she admitted the fact.

"Me too. I mean I've been having them too." He inched his hand toward her own. He felt some sort of mutual understanding between them that lay just below the surface. He wanted to reach out and capture that feeling that what was screaming and raging inside his head was natural given the recent circumstances. Peyton looked down at his hand causing him to think better of it. He retracted and placed his hand in his jacket pocket. He remembered that before the shooting they had had some very strict boundaries in place. Peyton would be hot and cold toward him. One moment she was open up and talk to him so easily and the next she would clam up and revert back to the stranger she had been. These were there partly because they didn't know each other well enough, partly because of Nathan and partly because of Peyton herself.

She avoided making eye contact with him. "I'm there...every time." She swallowed the lump that swelled up in her throat.

"Me too," Lucas found himself admitting for the first time since the nightmares had begun to plague him.

Peyton nodded sadly. They'd be forced to live that day for a long time to come. That was what the doctor and the therapist had said to her after she'd woken up screaming the first night since her hospital admittance.

"That day- it's always going to be with us," she murmured, afraid, at the realisation.

"Yeah," he nodded in sad agreement of that fact. "I think it is."

She sighed loudly. Those weren't really the words she wanted to hear. She looked up at the ceiling, lost to her own thoughts. Lucas stared down at the carpet beneath his feet.

"You are, you know" Peyton said gently breaking their silent thoughts. "A hero I mean. I wouldn't be here without you."

She reach out to touch his shoulder.

Lucas glanced up at her. Her voice was barely a whisper and it was laced with uncertainty. He remembered her telling him not so long ago that she didn't need him. That she didn't need anyone. But now the vulnerability in her tone betrayed her. As did the way she kept her eyes low, peering at him from under her tangled, messy curls. It all made him want to be there with her even more than he had done before.


End file.
